


Will I catch up to love? (I could never tell)

by c00nt



Series: Round & Round Like a Horse on a Carousel [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, But I've spent way too much time thinking this out to abandon the story, F/F, I'm not sure if there's an audience for this, Infidelity, So here goes nothing lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:57:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6442465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00nt/pseuds/c00nt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is Laura's girlfriend.<br/>Clarke is Laura's best friend.<br/>Carmilla is Clarke's girlfriend.<br/>... And Laura is secretly sleeping with Carmilla. </p><p>(AKA that Carmilla / The 100 Crossover WTF Infidelity AU that absolutely no one would ever ask for)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for giving this fic a chance (:  
> Hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing.

**** “Do you think it’s possible to love two people at once?”

“Hm?” Clarke grunted, barely looking up from her sketchpad. 

Laura usually gave her best friend a wide berth whenever she had impending deadlines looming over her head—which in this case was in a half-hour—but Laura had something to say. Clarke would say that Laura _always_ had something to say, but that was another story altogether…

“Like…” Laura continued as she pushed away her laptop. “Like, you’re in love with someone, right? And they’re awesome and great and everything you ever wanted in a partner. But then somebody _else_ walks into your life and they’re pretty much awesome and great too, and somehow everything _else_ you ever wanted in a partner…” She then trailed off, absentmindedly twirling a lock of hair around her finger.

“Laura. If you’re trying to tell me that you’re secretly in love with me…” Clarke smirked at the exaggerated gagging noises her friend made in immediate response. “Well, all right then. Is it safe to assume you’re talking about _The Hunger Games?”_

“Love triangles are absolutely the worst thing ever, Clarke! So, why do I keep getting drawn into these godawful storylines? Don’t I deserve better than the same old tired— _Oh, get over yourself!”_ Laura snapped at a couple of nearby students, who apparently had made the mistake of glaring from the table over. “If you wanted peace and quiet, you could have gone to the library!”

Clarke chuckled to herself as her best friend continued to demand _What? What!?_ at the increasingly alarmed strangers who were now trying to mind their own business. 

The two friends were sitting at their usual table outside the university’s cybercafé—Clarke finishing up her drawing assignment, Laura typing up her ethics paper. They used to meet at the library, but Laura’s frequent outbursts (usually non-academic, though Clarke had also heard many a rant on intersectional feminism) made it impossible for them to stay very long. They had long since learned that the outdoors was better suited for accommodating Laura’s excitable nature, but every once in a while, her volume still attracted an annoyed glance or two.

“So, how’s that paper coming along?” Clarke asked once Laura settled down. 

“It’s as good as it’s gonna get,” Laura muttered. She read through the document one more time before groaning in exasperation. “Hey, can you look this over for me? I can never tell if the word choice is right for this sort of thing.”

“Need I remind you that I am but an _artiste,_ Laura? I draw because words utterly fail me…”  Blatantly ignoring Laura’s scoff, Clarke tilted her head down at her sketch pad and frowned at the new perspective.  With a frustrated sigh, she went back to her drawing. “But if you want, I can just lend you Carmilla.”

Laura tried not to fidget.

“Her pretentious philosophical poetry mumbo-jumbo thing’s gotta be good for something,” Clarke went on, barreling over her friend’s uncharacteristic silence. “Or you could just ask _your_ girlfriend. I’ve had a couple of classes with Lexa. Girl knows how to write.”

“Oh, sure,” Laura said, finding her voice again on safer ground. “And how would an _artiste_ ,” she purposefully emphasized the French pronunciation to make Clarke laugh, “such as yourself recognize good writing anyway? If you’re so bad with words and all.”

“I said _I_ was bad with words. Never said I couldn’t appreciate a good writer when I saw one.”

Laura rolled her eyes, flicking the twig she was toying with at Clarke. 

“Hey,” Clarke said. She pointed a threatening finger at Laura without looking up. “No.”

“Hey yourself.” Laura snatched another twig off the ground and flicked that one towards the artist as well. 

Still, Clarke refused to look up from her work, opting instead to raise a different finger in response. 

“Awww, what a pretty birdie.” Laura was looking for something else to throw at her friend when she noticed two figures making their way towards the courtyard. “Oooh, speaking of pretty birdies, guess who’s on their way over.”

The dark-haired girls in question were still at a distance, but Laura could recognize the pair anywhere: Lexa with her perfect posture and careful stride, Carmilla with her characteristic slouch and swagger. Laura called out to them and waved, a gesture Lexa returned happily and Carmilla flat-out ignored. Which Laura of course had expected.

Not that it made Carmilla any less of a jerk.

“Hello, Laura,” Lexa said in greeting once they reached the table. “And Clarke.” She nodded towards the artist, who offered a small smile before returning to her drawing. 

“Hey, sexy,” Laura cooed, winding her hand in Lexa’s tie and tugging her down. “I love this. You’re so dapper today.” Eyes twinkling in admiration, she ran her other hand down the lapels of Lexa’s blazer.

“Yes, I had a—” Lexa was cut off by her girlfriend kissing her enthusiastically. “I, uh, had a presentation in Econ and I had to look… presentable,” she finished a bit flustered and Laura giggled.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Public displays of affection are so passé, cupcake,” she drawled, straddling the bench to face her frantically drawing girlfriend.

“Oh, is that so?” Laura deadpanned. She patted the spot next to her on the bench and her girlfriend silently complied. After a beat, Lexa placed her hand over Laura’s with a light squeeze, prompting another kiss.

“Yeah,” Carmilla went on, shrugging. “Let’s just say I prefer public displays of overt sexuality. Isn’t that right, love?”

As if to demonstrate her point, Carmilla slipped her hands underneath Clarke’s shirt, leaning in to bite her neck. Laura and Lexa watched in quiet amusement as Clarke swatted at her girlfriend’s hands with her one free one, all the while voicing her protests: _Carmilla, Come on, I have like ten minutes until class, Car-_ milla!, and etc. 

Laura had to stifle a laugh when she noticed the same students from earlier looking even more scandalized than before.

“Honestly, you’re insatiable,” Clarke said, once Carmilla had backed off with a pleased grin. 

“You love it.”

“No, I _tolerate_ it. And only barely so. And only because you’re so classically attractive.”

“Oh, wow! _Classically. Attractive.”_

Laura turned to her girlfriend, ignoring the couple as they continued to trade quips. They were known to drag out these heated exchanges for way longer than necessary. Not that it was ever necessary…

“Hey, so, can you do me a huge favor?”

“Of course, Laura,” Lexa answered easily. 

“Check over my essay?”

Lexa took her girlfriend’s laptop with a small smile. She hummed to herself as she read over the assignment, pausing only to explain each correction before she made them. Laura _mmhm-_ ed and nodded at all the right points, but honestly was only half-listening because once again, Carmilla was being her irritating self.

Having accepted that her girlfriend was too busy to entertain her, Carmilla had shifted her attention to her phone. She appeared to be mindlessly scrolling through some brand of social media, but Laura also knew how great Carmilla was at affecting indifference.

Plus, she was biting her lip. That _had_ to be on purpose.

Laura tried to tune back into her girlfriend’s commentary when Carmilla raised the stakes even higher. Bored expression intact, she indulged in an exaggerated yawn, her arms stretching over her head high enough that the already barely there shirt rode up to expose a sliver of pale skin. 

Yup. 

Definitely on purpose.

“… arguments are very solid. The diction just needed some adjustments is all.” 

Lexa pushed the laptop back over, reminding Laura to tear her eyes away from the pesky distraction seated across the table. She hurriedly blinked away thoughts of silver bellybutton rings and tried to focus on the screen. 

“Okay, great!” Laura said a bit too quickly. She saved the document and started putting her things away. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“You should still look over the essay before turning it in. Make sure the changes are to your liking.”

Laura waved away the suggestion. “Nah, I’m sure it’s fine… By which I mean,” she quickly added upon seeing Lexa’s furrowed brow, “I _completely_ trust your judgement, babe.”

Lexa scratched the back of her neck uncertainly. “Are you sure, Laura? Because…”

“Yes,” Laura insisted, pressing her lips against her girlfriend’s cheek. “Truly and fully. 120%, in fact, which is _more_ than a 100%, so…” She turned Lexa’s head towards her for a proper thank you, giggling when she felt her girlfriend smile back into the kiss.

“Ugh, gross,” Carmilla muttered to herself, just loud enough for Laura to hear. “Well, fine. If my girlfriend’s too occupied to shower me with the attention I deserve, I might as well get some work done.” She grudgingly rose from the table and checked her phone. “The philosophy wing at the library closes soon, so I should leave now if I want to get the texts I need for tomorrow.”

“Why didn’t you just check out the books earlier?” Lexa asked.

“All right, just ‘cause _you’re_ little Miss Goody Two-Flats…”

“Oh, shut up,” Laura sighed. “Some of us happen to like that sort of thing in a girl.” She squeezed Lexa’s shoulder reassuringly as Carmilla rolled her eyes yet again. “Also, I have to print this essay out. Mind if I tag along?”

Carmilla raised her hands noncommittally. “I can’t stop you, creampuff.”

 “Cool.” Laura scrambled to her feet, shouldering her backpack. She kissed the top of her girlfriend’s head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“How about tonight? I’ll make you dinner.”

_“You will?!”_ Laura said excitedly, mouth already watering at the thought of homemade cooking.

Lexa inclined her head. “I’m assuming that you’d eat nothing but sweets tonight if I didn’t offer to do so…” She paused to take in Laura’s guilty silence. Lexa really _did_ know her girlfriend all too well. “How does chicken pesto sound?”

“That sounds beautiful!” Laura exclaimed. “But… maybe we could also have something sweet? Pretty please?” She batted her eyes extra innocently and the corners of Lexa’s lips twitched into a smile. 

“Maybe… Brownies.”

“Ugh, you’re perfect.” Laura pressed her lips against Lexa’s one last time before turning back to Carmilla, who was impatiently tapping her foot. “Okay, let’s go!”

“About damn time,” Carmilla grumbled, stalking off. 

“Bye, babe! Bye, Clarke! Good luck on the drawing!”

Lexa waved, Clarke nodded, and Laura rushed off to catch up to Carmilla.

//

“Hey!” Laura said, a bit out of breath. “You left without me.”

“Well, cutie, you _were_ taking your sweet-ass time,” Carmilla said. “You know, making out with Tall-Dark-and-Awkward, so…”

“Jeez. Jealous much?” Laura teased, hip-checking the raven-haired grump.

“I don’t get jealous. You know that.”

Laura scoffed. “Yeah, I _know_ I know that…” She shrugged and casually let her fingers brush up against Carmilla’s almost accidentally. “That’s what I like about you.”

“Oh, really?” Carmilla said, smirking. She continued in a low voice, forcing Laura to lean in closer to hear. “Because I was under the impression that you only liked just how _good_ I give it—”

Laura clapped a hand over Carmilla’s mouth in horror. She shot a wild look over her shoulder, but thankfully no one was in their immediate vicinity. 

_“Are you crazy?”_ she hissed, taking her hand away. “We’re _barely_ out of earshot, and they can _still see us.”_

“Trying to gag me?” Carmilla asked with an amused chuckle. “Kinky.”

“Ugh, Clarke was right. You _are_ insatiable.”

Carmilla scowled at that and stormed off, muttering, “Way to ruin the mood, cupcake.”

“Oh, really?” Laura caught up to Carmilla with a huff. “Talking about your girlfriend ruins the mood? Gee, I wonder why that is.” She matched Carmilla’s pace once again when the girl started walking even more quickly. “And anyway, speaking of girlfriends, ours are finally out of view, so like I was saying—”

This time Laura was the one being cut off mid-sentence.

Carmilla pulled her into a secluded alleyway, backing her into a brick wall. Laura barely had time to lick her lips before Carmilla’s were crashing into them. 

Laura sighed into the kiss, her hands settling on top of Carmilla’s shoulders. As usual, Carmilla was impatient and her tongue was pushing into Laura’s mouth before long. Laura moaned when she felt Carmilla’s hips bump against hers, desire pooling low in her stomach. 

“Wait,” she panted, pushing on Carmilla’s shoulder. “The library.”

Carmilla growled in Laura’s ear, sending shivers down her spine, “Not. Now.” She took Laura’s wrists and pinned them over her head with one hand, leaning in to kiss her harder. 

Laura managed to hold back her whimpers when Carmilla sucked on her lower lip, but when Carmilla slid a hand up her shirt and an insistent thigh between her legs, she couldn’t help the ragged moan. The sound was loud enough that it should have embarrassed her though Laura was having a hard time remembering why it would.

Then a loud clamor interrupted Laura’s already stuttering train of thought.

She froze as a group of athletes ran past the alley, the rapid staccato of their footfalls accented with shouts and laughter. It was only when the noise died down, fading into the wind, that Laura’s shoulders dropped in relief.

They were in the clear.

For now…

“Wait, wait,” Laura said, finally snapping out of the lustful haze. 

Carmilla released Laura’s wrists with a disapproving whine, but kept kissing down her neck.

“Mm, Ca- _arm,”_ Laura gasped when she felt teeth sinking into her skin. “Whoa there, ladykiller.” She gently nudged Carmilla’s head away from her shoulder, chuckling nervously. “We’re still in public, so we should probably tone this down to a PG-13.”

“PG-13,” Carmilla murmured, leaning her forehead against Laura’s. “How incredibly dull.”

“Yup.” Laura tried not to squirm at Carmilla’s low, husky voice and the traitorous shivers left in its wake. “Actually, maybe we should just make it PG instead.”

Carmilla sighed dramatically. “Fine. Have it your way, creampuff.” She moved to push herself off the wall, but Laura was already tugging her back shyly by the hem of her shirt. Carmilla raised an eyebrow in question.

Laura blushed a little, avoiding eye contact, drumming her fingers on Carmilla’s forearms. “They, uh… you know. They still kiss in PG movies.”

“Oh yeah?” Carmilla said, the hint of amusement palpable in her tone.

“Yeah,” Laura breathed in response, pulling Carmilla into another kiss. She traced her hands down Carmilla’s arms, lacing their fingers together to prevent any more excessively inappropriate touching. But Carmilla didn’t seem to mind.

“So,” Carmilla said, once Laura pulled away, “when’re you coming over?”

“… Tomorrow night!”

Carmilla chuckled. “That soon, huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” Laura said slowly. “Movie night, remember?”

Carmilla groaned, rubbing at her eyes. She had totally forgotten about the double date that she and Clarke were hosting at their apartment. Just a nice friendly night of pizza, beer, and cheesy horror movies with her girlfriend, her girlfriend’s best friend, and _her_ girlfriend. Of course.

“Hang on. Clarke and Lexa have a late practice tomorrow night, so maybe you can stay for a bit afterwards?”

“Well,” Laura drew out the word, pretending to think about it. “… Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Carmilla sounded incredulous.

“Maybe,” Laura confirmed with a mischievous grin. “Maybe I’ll consider it… if you wear those leather pants to movie night.”

She was about to tease Carmilla a bit more when a sudden realization hit her. She slapped a hand to her forehead.

“Carm!” she exclaimed, startling the girl. “The philosophy wing! It’s closed! Your books!” 

Carmilla smirked, shaking her head slightly. “What books?” She gave Laura a simple peck on the lips and sauntered off, calling over her shoulder, “Me and my leather pants will see you tomorrow, cutie.” 

Laura just watched her walk away in stunned silence and disbelief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you loved it, please leave kudos!  
> If you hated it, please leave flames!  
> If you felt indifferent, please leave some of these: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- EDIT - 
> 
> I changed the class that Laura, Laf, & Raven were taking from geology to _anthropology_. Okay, carry on!

Laura burst into the classroom just in the nick of time.

Dr. Roth looked up from his podium with a disapproving frown, but Laura was too out of breath for a proper apology and could only offer him a weak smile.

“Yo, frosh!” Lafontaine called out from the back of the room. “Up here!” 

“Lau- _ra!”_ Raven yelled just as loudly through cupped hands, and to Laura’s great embarrassment, she even added an excited _ow owww!_ for good measure. 

Ignoring the professor’s steadily deepening frown, Laura made her way up the stairs and towards her purposefully mortifying friends.

“You know,” she said, sliding into the seat next to Lafontaine’s, “I’m not a freshman anymore, so you don’t have to keep calling me that.”

“Nonsense!” Lafontaine waved their hand dismissively. “Once a frosh, always a frosh. That is the way of our people.”

“Okay, but then we’d _all_ be ‘froshes’…”

“Not necessarily,” Raven piped up from Laf’s other side. “I think what our _dear,_ dear friend’s trying to say here—and oh so eloquently may I add…?”

“Oh, you may,” Lafontaine said with a grin.

“… is that you were a frosh when we met you, and so a frosh you shall be until the day you die.”

“How about just until _you_ die?” Laura grumbled.

Raven puffed out her chest. “Psh, bring it, Laur. I can take you… Or rather _we_ can take you,” she promptly amended when Lafontaine nudged her shoulder.

“Yeah!” Laf said. “Especially without your buff-ass girlfriend around to save your tiny, little one.”

Laura’s jaw dropped, indignation dripping from each word, “It’s not _tiny_ … _Or_ little!”

“Eh, agree to agree on your right to be wrong, Laur.” Raven held her hand out for a high-five which Lafontaine gladly obliged.

“Ugh, whatever.”

Laura faced forward when Dr. Roth finally raised his hands and voice to get everyone’s attention. Though he was asking the entire class to settle down, the professor shot a pointed look in Laura’s direction… Or rather at the two infamously disruptive students sitting right next to her. 

Not that the troublemakers in question even noticed because they were already too busy sniggering about something else. 

Laura groaned quietly to herself, knowing that today’s class would be yet another long and painful one. For her, that is.

Sure enough, it took only about three and half pages of quiet note-taking before she felt a sharp poke in her side.

“Hey, so speaking of your girlfriend…” Lafontaine started in a low voice.

“You mean the conversation we were having, like, fifteen minutes ago?”

“Yeah, so speaking of Miss Extra-Lextra,” they continued without missing a beat. “How was your movie night?”

“Oh, yeah!” Raven leaned over Laf to make sure Laura could hear her. “You guys had that weird married couple retreat thing over the weekend, right? Fun. Times.”

Laura scoffed. “It was just a casual movie night among friends. And girlfriends,” she added, absentmindedly tapping her pen on her notebook. “You know… The uje.”

“I don’t know, man. As a single lady, I find it really weird when couples only want to hang out with other couples.”

“No, I have a girlfriend,” Lafontaine said. “And I think it’s weird too.”

“It’s _not_ weird,” Laura insisted.

“Oh, did I say ‘weird’? I meant _boring_.” Raven’s overly dry emphasis made Lafontaine snort into their fist.

Laura rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe I actually thought that taking yet _another_ science class with you two was a good idea.”

Lafontaine’s eyes widened in scandalized disbelief, but Raven was even more offended.

“Science? Laura! This is _anthropology!”_ she retorted, the volume a bit too loud to be considered appropriate in a classroom setting.

All three friends quickly dropped their gazes onto the table, busying themselves with how fascinating the wooden surface appeared all of a sudden. Raven and Lafontaine didn’t dare raise their heads until they heard Dr. Roth resume his lecture. Laura waited even longer.

“I _hate_ you guys,” Laura mumbled through the side of her mouth once the professor’s steely gaze was trained elsewhere. “And I’m stuck with you two for the rest of the semester.”

“Aw, thank, frosh,” Laf said with a wink. “We love you too.”

“Even though social sciences are a sham.” Raven shot a dirty look at Laura. “And only the most unscientifically inclined would ever, _ever_ call it a—”

Lafontaine soothed the engineer, rubbing her back with a gentle hand. “But we’re here because we love you. Right, Rae?” 

“I guess…” she grumbled. 

“Anyway,” Laura said in a harsh whisper, “what did _you_ two do over the weekend that was _so_ much better than what I did? Get really high and watch cartoons?”

“Uh… _yeah_.”

“And it was awesome?”

Laura decided to spend the rest of the class sending Clarke frowny selfies via Snapchat.

//

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Laura promptly dropped her book in favor of checking her phone, desperate for any reason to procrastinate on her reading. A smile tugged at her lips as she read the message.

 

**Carmeleon [8:41 PM]  
** I’m bored.

 

With a slight shake of her head, Laura tapped out her reply right away.

 

**Laura [8:41 PM]  
** Hi, bored! I’m Laura!

**Carmeleon [8:42 PM]  
** Goodbye.

**Laura [8:44 PM]  
** Nooooo, come back! What’s up? :) 

**Carmeleon [8:44 PM]  
** I told you, cupcake. I’m bored. 

**Carmeleon [8:44 PM]  
** Come over.

 

Laura clucked her tongue at that. She racked her brain, quickly calculating how much she _really_ needed to get done for the night.

  
But…

 

**Laura [8:48 PM]  
** Isn’t clarke home?

**Carmeleon [8:49 PM]  
** Yes. 

**Carmeleon [8:51 PM]  
** … And?

**Laura [8:52 PM]  
** Carm. I'm not gonna sleep with you with your girlfriend right there!

**Carmeleon [8:52 PM]  
** Didn’t stop you last night.

 

Laura’s cheeks flushed as she recalled the events from the night before.

Carmilla and Clarke had weird sleeping arrangements. They lived together in an apartment but kept separate bedrooms. The couple swore up and down to anyone who asked that it was better this way. Apparently, Carmilla was an insufferable blanket hog and Clarke snored so loudly that even earplugs wouldn't cut it. In fact, Carmilla claimed that the noise still kept her up sometimes despite the solid wall between their two rooms.

Although she couldn’t speak to Clarke’s snoring, Laura _did_ have firsthand experience with just how cold it’d get sleeping next to Carmilla. But fortunately, Laura was also pretty good at getting the half-asleep grump to share the blankets when needed.

In any case, the individual bedrooms definitely came in handy…

Last night, Laura was riding three of Carmilla’s fingers when they heard the front door open. The two girls immediately froze in place, cutting themselves off mid-pant.

Laura tried not to panic as she listened to her best friend amble past Carmilla’s bedroom and into her own, singing softly to herself. Upon hearing Clarke put on a  _Mumford and Sons_ album on full blast, Laura and Carmilla exhaled a sigh of relief together. 

“You said she’d be at the studio all night,” Laura whispered frantically. 

“That’s what she told me!” Carmilla hissed back.

“Dammit…”

Laura started to get up, but Carmilla didn’t let her get too far. Instead, she pulled her even closer, flexing her fingers deep inside the blonde.

_“Carm,”_ Laura gasped with a start.

“Shh, creampuff,” Carmilla said smugly. She pumped her fingers into Laura again, but harder than before.

Laura doubled over, shifting her weight onto her hands. “What are you doing?” she panted against Carmilla’s smirking lips. 

“You’re not leaving until you come,” Carmilla said, leaning up for a hot, open-mouthed kiss. “So, make it quick.” She started thrusting into Laura even faster. “Or you know… _Not._ Your call, cutie.”

Laura pushed her face into Carmilla’s neck to stifle a whimper. “But _Clarke…”_

“Rude. Don’t say her name. Say mine.” Carmilla reconsidered after a moment, “Actually, you should probably just stay quiet, huh?”

“I don’t think I can— _ah!—_ stayveryquietohmygod…”

“Just bite down,” Carmilla ordered, guiding Laura’s head to her shoulder.

So, Laura did. 

And when she came, she broke skin.

 

**Laura [8:55 PM]  
** You promised not to bring that up!!

 **Laura [8:55 PM]  
** EVER!!!!

**Carmeleon [8:56 PM]  
** >:)

 

Laura couldn’t deny how her orgasm (and the two subsequent smaller ones) was especially satisfying that night, but she also didn't want to consider the role her best friend might have played in that.

Plus, Laura had to sneak out of Carmilla’s room through the window, which was even less fun than it sounded. 

 

**Carmeleon [8:58 PM]  
** So, what do you say, cutie?

**Laura [9:01 PM]  
** If you’re really that “bored” why don’t you just get your gf to take care of it?

**Carmeleon [9:02 PM]  
** Who says I haven’t?

**Laura [9:11 PM]  
** Well all right. I’m not really sure why you’re bothering me then

**Carmeleon [9:11 PM]  
** Haven’t you heard? I’m in... SATIABLE ~

 

Scoffing, Laura briefly considered turning her phone off for the night. She had already wasted too much time on pointless distractions and really needed to get her reading done by tomorrow. Maybe there was a Sparknotes-esque entry somewhere on the internet…. Now _that_ would be worth looking into.

But before Laura could get out her laptop, her phone vibrated in her hand, reminding her of its (and Carmilla’s) annoying existence.

 

**Carmelon [9:16 PM]  
** So… you coming over, cupcake?

 **Laura [9:16 PM]  
** No I have too much work tonight

**Carmeleon [9:18 PM]  
** (1/2) Ughh, F I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

 **Carmeleon [9:18 PM]  
** (2/2) I I I I I I I I I I I N N N N N N E E E E E E

**Carmeleon [9:23 PM]  
** _Incoming Picture Message from Carmeleon_

 

Upon seeing the sent image, Laura released a long exhale through her teeth.  Apparently, Carmilla didn't have any qualms about the iCloud’s questionable security.

 

**Carmeleon [9:26 PM]  
** Change your mind yet?

**Laura [9:29 PM]  
** Nope

**Carmeleon [9:30 PM]  
** ;P

 

Laura spent as much time as possible pretending she could process any of the information on her screen, but after reading the same sentence five times in a row without any retention, she had to admit to herself that homework was a lost cause for the night. 

With a frustrated groan, Laura grabbed her phone again. She unlocked the screen only to watch it blink off a couple of times before she typed out her message.

 

**Laura [10:02 PM]  
** Hey, you should come over

 

Laura impatiently waited for an answer, ignoring how hard her thighs were squeezing together.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

 

**❤︎ LEXA ❤︎ [10:04 PM]  
** Is everything all right, Laura?

**Laura [10:04 PM]  
** Yeah! I just really miss you 

**Laura [10:05 PM]  
** And your weight on top of me

**Laura [10:05 PM]  
** And how your skin feels against my skin 

**❤︎ LEXA ❤︎ [10:07 PM]  
** I can be there in 15 minutes.

 **Laura [10:08 PM]  
** Make it 10

**❤︎ LEXA ❤︎ [10:08 PM]  
** Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that classroom scene with the Laf/Raven brotp necessary? Probably not. But I wanted to make it clear that this story was jumping around in time.... because of reasons. 
> 
> Please let me know what you hated, loved, will pretend didn't happen, etc. in the comments below! 
> 
> If you really need to tell me how you feel in a more personal setting, come yell at me [here](http://whythinktoomuch.tumblr.com/ask). 
> 
> Thank you for reading, lovelies :D


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Laura did upon waking was to groan and pull the covers over her head.

It was always lovely having Lexa stay over, but unfortunately for Laura, it also meant that the window blinds _had_ to be raised up all the way.  Her dorky girlfriend liked getting up with the sun

“Good morning, Laura,” Lexa said brightly, setting down her book. 

“Is it? ‘Cause you coulda fooled me,” Laura grumbled. She felt the bed dip with Lexa’s weight and poked her head out from beneath the covers. “And you’re wearing a shirt. This day just keeps on getting worse and worse…”

“I could always just take it off again,” Lexa offered with a small chuckle.

“Why’d you put it back on in the first place?”

“Your chair’s cold, Laura! Especially in the mornings.”

“But you wouldn’t be cold if you had just stayed in bed with me,” Laura huffed, sliding underneath the covers again. “And people call _me_ the dumb one.”

An amused smile snuck onto Lexa’s face and she pulled at the covers to unveil her girlfriend’s cranky frown. “I don’t think you’re dumb.”

“Oh? So you think _you’re_ the dumb one?”

“I think…” Lexa cocked her head as if deep in thought. “I think that we’re both _very_ smart for choosing to be together,” she finished slowly, leaning over to kiss Laura.

“Mm, no. Come back,” Laura murmured against Lexa’s lips, interrupting whatever the brunette was about to say. “Not yet.” She pulled Lexa closer, cupping her face with a hand,  breaking off into giggles when she felt Lexa grinning into the kiss. 

Dorky, dorky girlfriend. 

“Okay,” Lexa said, planting one last kiss on Laura’s nose. “Time to get up?”

“Noooo…”

“Laura, it’s almost nine o’ clock.”

“No wonder I’m so tired!” Laura said, gasping dramatically. “Because if I recall correctly, we didn’t get to sleep until _wayyyy_ past four!”

Cheeks flushing wildly, Lexa tried to stammer out a proper response but only managed a couple of unintelligible vowel sounds before sinking facedown into the bed. Laura laughed softly to herself as she patted at her girlfriend’s head.

“Cuddles?”

“Okay.” Lexa’s voice was muffled into the sheets.

“And your shirt?”

Without lifting her head, Lexa unbuttoned said shirt and tossed it aside. Laura hummed appreciatively, tugging at the covers until Lexa dutifully crawled in next to her. 

“Thanks for coming over,” Laura said, snuggling in close with a contented sigh. She traced the familiar contours of Lexa’s stomach, feeling the muscles twitch against her fingertips in response. “Mm, babe, have I ever told you how hot you are?”

“You might have mentioned it once or twice before.” Lexa’s lips twitched but didn’t quite curve into a smile. “Definitely a few times in recent memory…”

Eyes rolling, Laura swatted at her increasingly dorkier girlfriend’s chest. “All right, that’s it. I have to stop now lest you get a big head, you big weirdy.”

But her laughter quickly died down when Lexa rolled over. There was only a half-smile playing over Lexa’s lips, but her green eyes as always gave away so much more.

Such a dork… but so so so pretty.

Laura gently lifted Lexa’s chin and leaned in for a slow, lazy kiss. Sighing into Laura's mouth, Lexa pulled the blonde closer by the hips and it wasn't long before Laura was rolling those same hips against Lexa's. Lexa let out a small whimper when Laura kissed up her neck to nibble on her ear.

“Pants off?” Laura’s voice was low, thick with desire.

“But why’d you put them back on in the first place?” Lexa commented, echoing Laura’s earlier phrasing. 

“Lexa, I swear to God…” But Laura broke off with a sharp gasp when Lexa’s hand slipped past her waistband.

“I apologize,” Lexa said, touching Laura’s forehead with her own. “Let me make it up to you…?”

Laura pushed her head back into the pillow, whimpering quietly as Lexa’s fingers slid against her wetness. Her soft sounds soon gave way to a low moan when Lexa pressed down on her clit. 

But she needed more.

“Lexa…”

“Yes, Laura?” Lexa’s reply was calm as ever. 

“You should fuck me.”

Lexa circled Laura’s clit a couple of more times before pushing two fingers inside, eliciting a strangled gasp. Laura closed her eyes and began moving her hips, matching the steady pace Lexa set with her thrusts.

Then, both of their phones went off:

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

_Pi-ping!_

“No!” Laura grabbed Lexa’s wrist to keep her in place. “Don’t stop,” she panted, leaning in for a searing kiss. “Just… stay with me for now.”

Lexa gave a small nod before pushing her fingers back into Laura, which was promptly met with a loud groan of approval. “Any other requests?” she asked with a pleased grin.

“Harder…”

“Like this?”

Laura dragged her fingernails down Lexa’s back. “Yes, Lexa. _Yes.”_

And for a while, those were the only two words said in the room.

//

“Clarke has invited us out to brunch,” Lexa announced.

“Oh?”

Laura looked up from the bed in sluggish haze, but her girlfriend was already in the bathroom brushing her teeth. Stifling a small yawn, Laura grabbed her phone off her desk and unlocked the screen only to see three text messages waiting for her.

The first was the group text from Clarke:

 

**Clarke-nado [9:18 AM]  
** Heyyyyyyyyyy! Double date @ The Ark for brunch? :) :) 

 

And the other two were from: 

 

**Carmeleon [9:18 AM]  
** Come to brunch, creampuff. 

**Carmeleon [9:20 AM]  
** We can play footsie under the table…

 

Rolling her eyes, Laura slumped back onto her bed and laid there in a small heap until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“We should really be getting ready, Laura.” Lexa gently tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind Laura’s ear. “We don’t want to keep our friends waiting.”

“First off, Carmilla’s not my friend,” Laura grumbled. “And secondly, The Ark’s only like a five minute drive from here.”

“Ah, well, I don’t have my car.”

“Oh, did you bike here?”

“… No.”

Laura sat up and looked Lexa straight in the eye. “Babe. Did you _run_ all the way here from your apartment?” She burst out laughing when her girlfriend’s only response was to squirm in an embarrassed silence. “Oh my God, Laf was right. You really _are_ extra sometimes…”

“Extra what?”

“Extra _cute,_ ” Laura answered with a grin. 

Then she leaned over to plant a small kiss on Lexa’s crinkling nose. 

//

Laura was still giggling when they got to the diner. 

She scanned the room for a familiar pair of heads and spotted the couple seated in the far corner of the restaurant. Laura glided over to the table, dragging Lexa behind her by the hand. 

“Good morning, everyone!” Laura sang, as she and Lexa slid into the booth. “And isn’t it a _fantastic_ day to have brunch here at The Ark?”

“Well, it’s about _time,_ lovebirds.” Clarke dropped her menu with a wry smile. “We were beginning to think you guys weren’t coming.”

“Oh, no, we were coming…” Laura mused before quickly adding, “Uh, here. We were coming _here._ To the diner, I mean.”

“Uh… huh.” Clarke squinted suspiciously at the couple. 

After a moment, Lexa cleared her throat. “So, how have your days been?”

“Great, actually,” Clarke said breezily. “I snagged a pretty decent grade on my last figure drawing assignment, and the weather’s just been gorgeous all day.” She abruptly knocked at the table. “Hope I didn’t jinx us just now…”

“And what about you, Carmilla?” Laura kept her tone friendly and upbeat. As if she hadn’t noticed how Carmilla still had yet to acknowledge her (and Lexa’s) presence.

“My day was fine, creampuff,” she answered, keeping her eyes on the menu. “Nothing to report or complain about…”

Clarke briefly glanced over at Carmilla before shooting her best friend an apologetic smile. Laura just shrugged helplessly in response. She knew how Carmilla could get sometimes. 

(In fact, she had known even before they started sleeping together.)

With a small sigh, Clarke rubbed her girlfriend’s leg affectionately, giving her knee a slight squeeze. Carmilla didn’t look up, but she grudgingly sat up a bit straighter and placed her hand over Clarke’s, loosely intertwining their fingers.

Satisfied, Clarke turned to the girl seated across from her. “Anyway, speaking of nice weather… Lexa, I’ve known you for about two years now, and I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you wear just a tank-top before…”

Lexa fidgeted, rubbing at her exposed arms. “This normally wouldn’t be my first choice,” she admitted. 

“That’s Laura’s shirt,” Carmilla observed in a quiet voice, finally looking up from her menu.

“Is it?” Clarke studied the logo more carefully. “ _Jurassic Parks & Rec._ Yup. Definitely Laura’s.” Then her face broke out into a grin. “ _Waaaait_ , did you sleep over? You _did_. All right! Getting some on a weeknight!”

Lexa blushed furiously while Laura tried to hush the loud cackling that had other diners looking over out of curiosity and annoyance. Carmilla just rolled her eyes and went back to perusing her menu.

“Hey,” Clarke managed to get out between giggles, “usually, it’s the other way ‘round, so now you know how it feels, Laur.”

Laura covered her face with a groan. “Lexa! This is why you should always bring a change of clothes when you come over!” 

“Well, why didn’t you just wear your clothes from last night?” Clarke asked, still grinning wide. “Unless you came over naked, that is…” She laughed again, easily deflecting the balled up napkin Laura threw at her.

Lexa just frowned. “Because I wore them last night?”

“Believe me. I’ve tried,” Laura said dryly. “But she refuses to wear the same thing two days in a row.”

“Wow, Lex…” Clarke gave an impressed whistle. “You really are something, huh?”

Laura muttered an audible _Yup_ as she waved over a waitress, but Lexa just ducked her head, smiling sheepishly at her hands folded in her lap.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Clarke asked, once their food orders were put in. 

Laura checked her phone. “Well, I still have about three hours to finish my reading before my Modernism Lit. class, but that’s probably a lost cause…”

“What’s the reading?”

“ _Beloved._ ”

“Oh!” Clarke nudged her girlfriend’s shoulder with a grin. “Carmilla wrote a paper on Toni Morrison last year. I’m sure she could give you the need-to-know highlights in time for your class.”

Carmilla looked up from her phone—which she had turned to when the waitress took all their menus with her—and shot Clarke a dirty look. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Clarke said, narrowing her eyes at Carmilla. “Like you had something better to do today?”

“Maybe I did.”

_“Carmilla._ ” 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Laura cut in before the couple could launch into a full-out bickering. “It’s fine, Clarke! And… uh, Carmilla,” she hastily added when the girl in question scowled at her. “I’ve been down to the wire before and I’m not worried, so you shouldn’t be either, okay?”

When the food finally arrived, Laura was grateful for the distraction. 

When the food finally arrived, Laura was grateful for the distraction.The conversation gradually shifted from her interests as Lexa and Clarke began discussing their workout regimens—something they had taken to a lot more lately—so she just tuned them out.

Instead, Laura occupied herself by eating and watching Carmilla disdainfully push her scrambled eggs around her plate. She noticed with a hint of amusement that Carmilla seemed to prefer chewing on her own lip rather than her food.

Typical broody, grumpy Carm.

Laura idly considered the texts she had received that morning, her left leg twitching at the thought. But playing footsie _literally_ right underneath their girlfriends’ noses? Carmilla was lucky she had such high cheekbones and perfectly shaped eyebrows because she could be really dumb sometimes.

Then Laura remembered the text messages from the night before and felt her cheeks immediately flushing red with heat. She nearly dropped her fork when Clarke’s suddenly raised voice broke into her concentration, right in the middle of her indecent thoughts. 

“… But I can go _way_ heavier on the machine!”

“Even so, dumbbell flyes on a flat bench are better for you in the long run,” Lexa replied. 

Clarke raised a skeptical eyebrow as she chewed carefully on her bacon. “Even though I’m already bench-pressing with barbells _and_ dumbbells…?”

“Of course.” Lexa nodded, eyes very serious. “Clarke, if you’re uncomfortable doing the exercise on your own, I could always spot you.”

Clarke clapped her hands together. “All right, well, no time like the present,” she said, tossing a few bills onto the table. “Don’t worry, Laur, I’ll get your girl back to you safe and sound.”  She dropped an exaggerated wink at her best friend.

“Whatever, I got work to do anyway,” Laura said, rolling her eyes.

“Yay! Let’s go, Lex!” 

Carmilla went to slide out of the booth after her girlfriend, but Clarke pushed her back with a poke to the chest. 

“You’re staying with Laura,” Clarke said, holding up a finger when Carmilla tried to protest. “No, you _are._ Because you’re my girlfriend and I know how to make it worth your while.” She yanked Carmilla forward by the shirt collar and pressed a firm kiss against her lips. “So, play nice.”

Carmilla grumbled her assent and settled back into her seat.

“Clarke…” Laura started nervously, but her friend just jabbed a finger towards her as well. 

“No, let her help,” she said. “You’re my best friend and I love you and this is my way of making sure that my future godchildren are set for life.”

And with that, Clarke turned on her heel and marched straight to the exit with long, purposeful strides. Lexa pushed her credit card into Laura’s hand and pecked her cheek, whispering hasty goodbyes before she followed suit.

Which left Carmilla and Laura on their own.

Great. 

“You know what?” Carmilla finally said, breaking the silence after a long pause. “Clarke’s going to realize one day that sexual bribery will only get her so far… Especially if that’s the only card she ever plays.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Laura said casually. “It’s got a pretty high rate of success in my experience.”

A smirk tugged atCarmilla’s lips. “Cheeky.”

“For a cupcake anyway.” Laura let out an exasperated sigh. “Hey, so are you still mad?”

The smirk vanished and Carmilla dropped her gaze again. “I wasn’t… _mad,”_ she eventually muttered. 

“Okay. So, what’s up?” Laura reached over, touching her knuckles to Carmilla’s. “What’s with all the doom and gloom up in this room?”

Carmilla wrinkled her nose. “Did you just quote a theme song from a Nickelodeon cartoon?”

“No. Well… kinda.”

Carmilla exhaled a soft laugh through her nostrils and Laura couldn’t help but smile along with her. She brushed her thumb against Carmilla’s hand, feeling somewhat victorious.

“Look, cutie, I wasn’t mad,” Carmilla said, pinching the bridge of her nose with her other hand. “Just a little… _annoyed_ that you weren’t entirely honest with me.” She leveled her eyes carefully with Laura’s. “We don’t have to tell each other _everything_ , but don’t lie to me either.”

Laura fidgeted under Carmilla’s incisive gaze. “You’re right,” she admitted, biting at her lip. “You are so right… I’m sorry, Carm.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“But I am.”

“All right then.”

“So… were you jealous?”

“ _Laura._ "

“Okay, okay…” Laura held up her hands in mock surrender, biting back laughter. “You want to talk about _Beloved_ then?”

Carmilla didn’t say anything, but her foot lightly brushed up against Laura’s leg.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Laura said, her eyes rolling once more. Her class was in a few hours and she didn’t really have the time nor patience to consider the tingles creeping up her spine. Or the casual way her leg was pushing back against Carmilla’s boot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! 
> 
> And if you loved it, please leave a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> If you hated it, please leave a (ง •̀_•́)ง 
> 
> If you felt indifferent, please leave 10 of these: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Page breaks indicate time jumps.
> 
> Anyway, here are the flashbacks that you—no one—asked for.

**** Every once in a while, Laura wondered what she’d say if someone were to ever ask her why she was doing this. Why she was cheating on her girlfriend with the one person she couldn’t stand. And honestly? She would most likely be at a loss for words, which was a scary prospect for a journalism major.

Simply put, Lexa Woods was perfect.

Not only did she meet every criteria on Laura’s must-be list (and even some on the would-be-nice-if list), Lexa was infinitely better than all of Laura’s past girlfriends combined.

Lexa was smart yet patient. Strong yet so so gentle. Plus, she was very easy on the eyes and lips, and even managed to care about Laura without getting clingy or jealous. 

More importantly, Laura’s dad actually approved of her.

Even more importantly, Laura was actually _happy_ with her. 

And then there was Carmilla Karnstein…

AKA the embodiment of everything Laura could ever hate in a person. AKA the girlfriend of her best friend. AKA the one person in the entire world she shouldn’t—and shouldn’t want to—sleep with.

And yet…

If someone were to ever ask Laura _how_ it had all started, she’d probably still have some trouble articulating a good answer. 

But there were definitely three moments in particular that had led to this whirlwind of sexual debauchery that was Carmilla.

 

* * *

 

Their first real conversation was about a year ago at a housewarming party where they were celebrating Carmilla and Clarke moving in together.

Despite the fact (or perhaps because of the fact) finals were looming large just over the horizon, a great number of people showed up. Clarke had basically invited everyone she knew: her friends, her friends’ friends, the lacrosse team, random classmates, etc. Even that one guy Carmilla hung out with was there.

Apparently in college, any excuse to drink was a valid one. 

Ducking out of yet another rant about exams, Laura found her way to the snack table which was surprisingly uncrowded. She snagged a few cookies and another beer before situating herself off to the side to observe the party. 

Though Laura knew most of the invitees, there was still quite the hodgepodge of individuals in attendance.

In one corner, Kirsch and Lincoln were arm-wrestling with their shirts off, surrounded by a bunch of cheering Zeta bros. In the other corner, Perry was following Lafontaine and Raven around the party to clean up after them. And on the table, Octavia was whooping as she tossed her shirt into the screaming crowd below…

“Has anyone ever told you just how utterly gay you are, cupcake?”

Laura whipped her head around to see Carmilla hovering nearby. 

“Excuse me?”

“ _Gay._ ” Carmilla took a swig from her wine bottle. “As in ‘you are so.’ Come on, cutie. I can’t be the first person to tell you that. You’d pretty much ogle anyone with long hair and cleavage.”

“I didn’t ogle _you_ ,” Laura said, gesturing at Carmilla’s especially low-cut corset.

Carmilla smirked. “But you’ve noticed, huh?”

It took every ounce of Laura’s willpower to not stomp off right then and there. As annoying as Carmilla was, she (apparently? somehow??) made Clarke very happy, and as Clarke’s designated best friend for life, Laura had no choice but to tolerate Carmilla. 

But she didn’t have to be entirely civil.

“Oh, like you’re the pinnacle of passing?” Laura asked, heavy with sarcasm. “Please… The first time I saw you, you were wearing red flannel, a beanie, and aviators. That outfit was so gay, it probably came out of the closet before you did.”

After a long pause, Carmilla slowly said, “So, what you’re saying is… you remember what I was wearing on the day we met.”

“Of course,” Laura scoffed. “Of course _that’s_ what you get out of what I just said.”

“Your words, sweetheart,” Carmilla said, taking another swig.

Rolling her eyes, Laura leaned against the wall, making sure to keep at least one arm’s length away from Carmilla. She would make nice for Clarke’s sake, but she didn’t have to look at Carmilla while she did so. 

Or even start the conversation. 

In fact, Laura was perfectly content just drinking her beer and watching the festivities unfold before her. Especially now that a few more girls had lost their shirts in the drunken mayhem.

“I’m not, by the way,” Carmilla finally said. When Laura raised her eyebrows in question, she quickly added, “Gay, I mean.”

“Oh? _Oh!"_  Laura gasped. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed!”

“No, it’s fine. I’m bi,” Carmilla said, waving her hand dismissively. “Or pan… Or whatever you want to call it.” She fidgeted with her bottle. “I don’t know. Labels are weird… And I’m not really a fan, so I don’t… you know. But yeah, I just—I’d go home with pretty much anyone. Who catches my eye. Regardless of gender and stuff…”

“Wow,” Laura said, after a small pause. “So, _that’s_ what I sound like, huh?”

Carmilla groaned and pushed herself off the wall, but Laura easily caught her by the wrist.

“No, no, I’m just kidding!” she laughed, gently pulling on Carmilla’s arm. “That’s just the most I’ve ever heard you talk. Ever.”

“Well, color me shocked,” Carmilla said, settling back against the wall. “Considering your taste in women, I assumed you’d be used to reserved silences.”

“You don’t even _know_ Lexa,” Laura complained as she took another drink.

“And I don’t care to.” Carmilla glanced around the living room. “Speaking of, where _is_ your girlfriend anyway? Don’t you two spontaneously combust whenever you’re more than three feet from each other?”

Laura rolled her eyes, but chose not to comment. Instead, she leaned over, pointing towards the kitchen where all the lacrosse players—including their girlfriends—were gathered. The athletes in question were pounding rhythmically on the table, chanting _WE ARE GROUNDERS_ before taking each shot as a team. 

“The primitive by way of the Neoclassical…” Carmilla said with a sigh. “The princess is going to be quite the handful tonight.”

Laura hummed in agreement. “I just hope that Lexa doesn’t get too carried away. She and alcohol aren’t exactly besties, you know?”

“She’s a big girl. I’m sure she can handle it,” Carmilla drawled. “Plus, isn’t she excessively responsible? Like, to the point of being boring?”

She exhaled a short laugh when Laura swatted at her shoulder with an annoyed _Hey._

“I just don’t see her getting absolutely trashed and causing a big scene is all. Unlike some girlfriends…” Carmilla trailed off with a frown. She watched as Clarke and Octavia challenged each other to start taking two shots each round instead of just one. 

“Normally, I’d agree… but after three drinks, you can pretty much convince Lexa to do anything.”

Carmilla gagged. “TMI, cutie.”

“Haha, very funny,” Laura said dryly. “I mean, like, dumb stuff. One time, she climbed a tree just because Clarke dared her to do pull-ups off the branch. Which, yeah, was kinda hot, but also pretty dangerous.”

“It can’t be any worse than whatever she does on the field.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Laura exclaimed. “You’re gonna start attending the games, right? For Clarke, I mean.”

“It’s _sports,”_ Carmilla said, voice dripping with disdain. “And Clarke said that it’d be nice if I came, but that I don’t necessarily _have_ to.”

“Yup. I’m here to tell you that _that_ means you _definitely_ have to go.”

Carmilla rubbed at her face with a groan.

“Come on…” Laura gently elbowed Carmilla who pushed her back in response. “We can go together!”

“No thank you.”

“Cheer on our girlfriends!” 

“No.”

“Make signs!”

“ _No._ ”

“Well, how do you feel about face-paint?”

“Goodnight, creampuff.”

And with that, Carmilla disappeared before Laura could say another word.

//

The second conversation happened a few weeks later. 

It was after finals and most of her friends had already left for the summer, but Laura wanted a little breather before heading back to Toronto. So, she was crashing at Clarke’s—well, now Clarke and _Carmilla’s—_ apartment for a few days before her flight back home.

Of course, Laura had to settle for the living room couch, but she could hardly complain about waking up every morning to the smell of breakfast. Besides, all she really cared about was spending quality time with her bestie—a downright luxury during the school year.

Plus, she was also starting to tolerate Carmilla, which was actually a lot easier than she thought it’d be. It turned out that the trick was keeping Clarke around whenever possible. Laura noticed with amusement that as much as Carmilla seemed to hate everything, she definitely did _not_ hate Clarke.

All Clarke had to do was touch her knee, and Carmilla softened her sarcasm to a muted grumble. She complained whenever Clarke hugged her from behind while she did the dishes, but leaned back into the embrace all the same. And even though she refused to binge-watch _Doctor Who_ with them, Carmilla still stayed in the room during their Netflix marathons. She just sat quietly on the couch, book in hand and Clarke’s arm wrapped around her middle.

Sometimes, Laura even caught Carmilla glancing over at Clarke with a small smile when she thought no one was looking. 

It was a surreal experience.

And it only got weirder the day Laura heard soft music coming from outside. 

She poked her head out the window and saw Carmilla on the porch steps strumming on a guitar. After a brief moment of shock, Laura considered her options: either wait until Clarke got back from the store or satisfy her curiosity now. 

The journalist in her eventually won out and Laura was walking out the front door before she could change her mind. 

“You play guitar,” Laura blurted out as soon as she got outside.

Carmilla didn’t even stop playing. “I know that.”

“ _Acoustic_ guitar.”

“Yes…”

“Well, _that_ was unexpected,” Laura said, throwing her hands up. “I mean, it’s a pretty quiet brand of music for someone who was blasting Slipknot for three hours last night.”

Carmilla finally looked up with an amused expression. “Now where does a creampuff like you learn about heavy metal bands from the early 2000s?”

“I kinda had a rebellious stage in high school,” Laura admitted with a laugh. “Maybe dated a metalhead. Or two.”

“How scandalous.”

Laura shrugged and motioned for Carmilla to move over so she could sit. Carmilla rolled her eyes but grudgingly scooted over.

“So… do you ever cover Slipknot songs?”

“Not a chance,” Carmilla drawled. “I can barely play my own songs, cupcake. I’m not about to take on somebody else’s.”

“You write songs?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I hear one?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Laura pouted. “You ever play one for Clarke?”

“What’s it to you, cutie?” Carmilla asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

Laura blew out a breath exasperatedly. “Well, if it’s a special thing you only share with your girlfriend, I’d completely understand! And I don’t wanna step on anyone’s toes! Least of all my best friend’s, you know?”

Carmilla just shook her head slightly and—much to Laura’s great disappointment—put her guitar back in the case.

Laura stood up to leave, figuring the conversation was over, but then Carmilla gave her pause with yet another surprise. 

“You want a beer?” Carmilla asked, jerking her head at the six-pack by her feet.

“Oh, uh, sure.” Laura dropped down onto the porch again, taken aback by the invitation. Then, she examined the six-pack more carefully. “This is my beer. I bought this.”

Carmilla popped open a bottle with a shrug. “Well, it was in my fridge, cutie, and possession is nine-tenths, so…”

“What—How is that possession? It’s still mine!” Laura protested. 

“Cupcake. Do you want one or not?”

“Ugh, fine,” Laura grumbled, taking the outstretched bottle. “You’re the worst.”

“Agreed.”

They drank their beers in silence, just watching the sun paint the skies pink as it gradually sank behind the trees. Carmilla was opening their second bottles when Laura spoke again.

“So, since we’re drinking my beer and all, I think it’s only fair that you answer a few of my questions.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but didn’t object.

“Okay!” Laura excitedly turned to face a much less excited Carmilla. “What’s your major?”

“Philosophy. With a minor in formal poetry.”

Laura nodded thoughtfully. “Huh, that’s cool. What are you gonna do with that?”

“Hell if know,” Carmilla drawled before taking another drink. “What’s yours?”

“Media studies! Or more specifically, journalism.”

Carmilla let out a short laugh. “That explains… so much.”

“Oh, hush.” Laura bumped her shoulder against Carmilla’s. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Neon pink.”

“No, it’s not,” Laura said automatically.

“Creampuff,” Carmilla said with mock seriousness. “Are you really going to tell _me_ what _my_ favorite color is?” She clucked her tongue. “You’re putting words in my mouth. What happened to the good ol’ days of journalistic integrity?”

Laura covered her face with a groan. “Why are you like this? I just came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

Rolling her eyes, Carmilla pulled Laura’s hands away from her face. “Fine, fine. One last question, and I promise to play along.”

“Okay, you better. Because this is the most important question of all.”

Carmilla just stared back into Laura’s eyes in quiet challenge.

“All right,” Laura said slowly. “What do you like most about Clarke?”

That definitely caught Carmilla off-guard, but her reply still came quickly and easily. “Her patience, for sure.”

“… Really?” Laura was expecting the answer to be at least somewhat sexual. 

“Yeah,” Carmilla said, shrugging. “I know I’m not the easiest person to be around, but she does it. And she does it well.” Her fingertips tapped against the glass bottle. “That’s all I can really ask from someone…”

Satisfied enough with the explanation, Laura clinked her bottle against Carmilla’s. “You know what. You’re not so bad.”

Carmilla grunted as she downed the rest of her beer.

“Hey!” Laura said suddenly. “Give me your number.”

“… Why?”

“So I can text you?” Laura rolled her eyes a little. “Look. Not only are you dating my best friend, you’re also kinda living with her. So, like it or not, we’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other… _No, not like that!”_ she snapped when Carmilla flashed her a dirty smirk.

Chuckling to herself, Carmilla handed over her phone. Laura quickly added her number before calling herself on Carmilla's cell. After making all the necessary changes, she returned the phone and peered over Carmilla’s shoulder to see what her contact name would be. 

“ _Cupcake,”_ she read. “Really? Why ‘cupcake’?”

“Because you’re small, sweet, and bad for my health.”

Laura snorted. She could live with that.

“What did you save my number as?” Carmilla asked.

Smiling coyly, Laura gave an exaggerated shrug. “Oh, wouldn’t _you_ like to know?”

“Actually, I don’t care,” Carmilla said, brushing off her pants as she stood up. Then without another word, she took her guitar and left Laura sitting alone outside. 

With all the empty beer bottles. 

“Of course…” Laura muttered to herself as she started cleaning up.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

She unlocked her phone, expecting to see a text from Lexa or Clarke, but instead found: 

 

**Carmander [8:16 PM]  
** Thanks for the chat, cutie. 

 

Okay, Laura had to admit that maybe Clarke didn’t have the _worst_ taste in women after all.

//

However, their third conversation—if Laura could even call it that—was perhaps the most significant of all. 

It was months after their chat on the porch (and a few weeks since Carmilla last replied to one of Laura’s text messages). Students were all celebrating and bemoaning the start of the school year at the Summer Society house with the typical alcohol / dance floor combo.

“… and Kane’s pulling no punches,” Raven was saying, her arm swinging back and forth for emphasis. She didn’t notice Lafontaine’s wary eyes as they watched Raven’s solo cup repeatedly threaten to spill rum and coke all over their slacks. “And _apparently,_ he never gives out As…? Which is _bullshit._ There’s no way I’m letting some arrogant white male jerk-wad ruin my perfect GPA, which I worked my _ass_ off for and—”

“Okay, Rae,” Lafontaine hastily cut in, gently lowering Raven’s arm. “But differential equations are _supposed_ to be hard, right?”

Raven settled back into her seat with a grunt.

“Plus, how many engineering classes you taking this semester anyway? Two?”

“Four.”

“ _Four?_ Jesu— uh, gosh,” Laf amended, noticing Perry’s narrowed eyes. A goofy smile broke over their face when Perry awarded them with a peck on the cheek.

Raven rolled her eyes. “You know what’s worse than being a third wheel?” She looked pointedly at the other couple, who had been making out this whole time. “Being a _fifth_ wheel.”

Giggling, Laura finally pulled away from Lexa who just grinned sheepishly over her girlfriend’s shoulder. Laura gave Lexa one last peck before shifting to sit more appropriately on her lap.

“Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry at all. “We just haven’t seen each other in a while…”

“Didn’t she visit you over the summer?” Laf asked.

“Yeah, but that was _ages_ ago,” Laura said, leaning into Lexa’s touch as she traced circles up Laura’s leg. “Plus, my girlfriend’s kinda hot, you guys.” A shiver snuck down Laura’s spine when Lexa nipped the back of her neck.

Lexa wasn’t usually this comfortable with PDA, but apparently three weeks was way too long for her as well. The alcohol buzzing around in her system didn’t hurt either.

“Yeah, well, I’m single as fuck,” Raven muttered, taking a large gulp of her drink, “and all my friends being in relationships and canoodling ain’t doing me any favors.”

Lafontaine scoffed. “At least, Perr and I aren’t sucking face in public,” they said, gesturing at the couple making out again.

“Okay, okay!” Laura held up her hands in surrender. “We’ll be good!”

“… for now,” Lexa mumbled into Laura’s neck low enough so that only she could hear. Laura squeezed Lexa’s hand in silent agreement. 

“Anyway,” Raven continued, “like I was saying… this semester’s going to kill me. And I’m going to die. Forever alone. The end.”

“Oh, don’t say that, Raven,” Perry said sharply. “You’re a bright girl and the best student in your program. And… you’ll find the right person when it’s time…” She looked over at Laf with a small smile, placing a hand on their knee.

Lafontaine and Laura raised their beers in agreement. 

“I can’t help you find a date,” Laf said, throwing an arm around Raven’s shoulders, “but we _are_ in Geology 101 with the froshiefrosh, remember? That’ll _definitely_ bring your grade up.”

“Says you,” Laura complained. “All that science-y stuff might come easy to you two—”

“They _all_ come easy with me!” Raven quipped.

“—but I’m in geology _and_ psychology, and I’m kinda worried about taking two science classes in one semester.”

“Geology is _not—”_ Lafontaine started, but Raven held up a hand to cut them off.

“We’ll get to that later,” she said. “Right now we’re gonna rewind back to that psychology comment. Say what now?”

“Psychology is a science.”

Lafontaine and Raven’s words tumbled over each other as the two simultaneously voiced their objections.

“Oh _no,_ you did not—”

“Laura, I swear to _God—”_

Perry waved away the dramatics with a loud shushing noise. “Well, now, hold on! Psychology can absolutely be a science as you two see fit. They study brains and whatnot, don’t they?”

Lafontaine nodded slowly. “Fair point. So, frosh, are you taking neuropsych?”

“Well… no,” Laura confessed.

This time even Perry couldn’t extinguish Lafontaine and Raven’s heated protests. She gave a small sigh as she leaned into her partner, resting her head on their shoulder. Lafontaine reached up and gently stroked Perry’s hair without missing a beat in their rant.

“And now… they’re debating each other,” Lexa said after a while.

She was right.

The pair had turned their arguments on each other despite their clear consensus that Laura was wrong. It was just a matter of deciding whether geology or psychology was the bigger insult to the field of “real” science.

Laura laughed a little before turning to her girlfriend with a pout. “Babe. Is psychology a science?”

“It is,” Lexa said, smiling. “A social science.”

“Thank you.” Laura pulled her girlfriend in for another kiss. Which led to another. And another until a coaster bounced off the back of Laura’s head.

Rolling her eyes, she faced forward again while her friends high-fived with a snicker.

“Oop,” Raven said suddenly. She poked Lafontaine and nodded her head towards the other side of the party. “Trouble in paradise?”

They all looked over to see Clarke and Carmilla in the far corner. With the distance and the over-powering hip-hop music, it was impossible to make out what they were saying. But it was definitely an argument.

Carmilla was leaning back against the wall with her arms crossed, watching Clarke gesture emphatically at her. Then, she threw a hand up and started responding just as vehemently. Carmilla continued to voice her complaint, Clarke’s shoulders steadily relaxing as she listened. But when Clarke reached down to take her hand, Carmilla snatched it back with a flinch.

“Honestly, I don’t know what Clarke sees in that girl,” Laf said, shaking their head.

“She’s crazy hot,” Raven answered automatically. 

“But still…”

“We shouldn’t be watching them,” Perry finally said, her voice insistent. 

“But they’re doing it in front of everyone…” Raven grumbled, but she and everyone else obediently turned away from the quarrel.

“What do you think they’re fighting about?” Laura asked Lexa in a low voice as their friends launched into another topic.

Lexa shook her head. “It’s not our business, Laura.”

“No, it’s not…” Laura agreed with a hum. She looked over again just in time to see Carmilla snarl one last thing before storming out of the room.

Clarke watched Carmilla leave, running a hand through her blonde hair exasperatedly a few times. Then squaring her shoulders, she turned on her heel and made her way towards the group. 

Laura slid off Lexa’s lap and sat up, already preparing to slip into best friend mode.

“Hey, lovelies,” Clarke sighed when she got to them. “So… I kinda wanna get really drunk and dance my ass off. Care to join?”

Raven jumped to her feet with a whoop. “Shots shots shots!” she screamed, running towards the kitchen.

“Come on,” Laf sad, tugging on Perry’s hand. “We gotta make sure she doesn’t take all the shots herself…” And with that, the couple chased after Raven.

But Laura grabbed Clarke’s hand before she could tag along. “Hey, you okay?”

Clarke let out a long sigh, her eyes flicking between Laura and Lexa. “I will be. Once I get a few drinks in me.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea…?”

“Laura...” Clarke leveled her weary eyes with her best friend’s worried ones. “I can’t do this right now. I just need to be drunk, happy, fun Clarke for a while, okay?”

With an understanding nod, Laura released her hand. Clarke squeezed her shoulder as she walked past her.

“We should probably go with them,” Lexa said, her gaze following Clarke to the kitchen. “Someone should keep an eye on Clarke at the very least.”

“Yeah, I know…” Laura bit her lip. “You know what? You go ahead. I’ll catch up to you. There’s just something I gotta do.”

“Okay.”

After a hurried kiss goodbye, Laura rushed out the doorway Carmilla had gone through.

//

**Laura [11:43 PM]  
** Where are you?

**Laura [11:48 PM]  
** Carmilla?

**Laura [11:52 PM]  
** Hey I left the party just to look for you so the least you can do is answer

**Carmander [11:54 PM]  
** What do you want

 **Laura [11:54 PM]  
** To talk to you. Make sure you’re okay

**Carmander [11:55 PM]  
** I’m fine

**Laura [11:56 PM]  
** If you’re really “fine” then you won’t mind if I come see for myself

**Carmander [11:58 PM]  
** Goodnight, cupcake.

**Laura [12:00 AM]  
** Are you serious???

**Laura [12:01 AM]  
** Carmilla!!

**Laura [12:04 AM]  
** You’re HOME, aren’t you??

 

There was no reply, which Laura took as an affirmative. Wrapping her jacket around her tighter, she jogged towards Clarke and Carmilla’s apartment. 

After seven long blocks of huffing, Laura finally got to their door. She knocked, but no one answered. 

 

**Laura [12:26 AM]  
** Im here so let me in

**Carmander [12:27 AM]  
** No one’s home.

 

With a loud groan of frustration, Laura called out, “Carmilla! I know you’re in there! And I’m not going away so you can save us both a _lot_ of time and trouble if you just let me in!” She started pounding on the door again. “I’m _serious,_ Carmilla! Just open—”

The door swung open almost hitting Laura.

“ _What?”_

Laura’s anger deflated right away. “… You’re crying.”

“Go away,” Carmilla said firmly, brushing a hand across her eyes.

“Carmilla— _wait!”_ Laura caught the door before it could slam shut. “You shouldn’t be alone when you’re feeling like this… _and we don’t have to talk!”_ she insisted when Carmilla pulled on the door again. “We can just sit and have a beer together or something.”

There was a long pause as Carmilla’s eyes bore into Laura’s.

Laura shifted nervously from one foot to the other, her mouth suddenly getting very dry.

And she almost called it quits. 

Almost told Carmilla that she was sorry for disturbing her and that she’d check in on her some other time. But then, Carmilla was yanking her in by her shirt collar.

The door shut behind Laura and she immediately found herself being pushed up against it.

“Why are you so fixated on me?” Carmilla demanded slowly. She leaned in close, hands on either side of Laura’s head.

“… What?” Laura tried to take a step back, but her back was already pressed flat against the door.

“It’s like you’re obsessed….” Carmilla brushed a stray lock of blonde hair from Laura’s face. “You keep following me around. You _insist_ on butting into my affairs. And _talking._ You _never_ stop talking.” Her voice was almost a growl, low and dangerous.

Laura tried to apologize—to say anything—but the words evaporated as soon as Carmilla nuzzled into her neck.

“Are you into me?” Carmilla murmured into Laura’s skin, weakening her already buckling knees. “… Is that it?”

“No!” Laura choked out, finding her voice at last. “I’m sorry I made you feel so uncomfortable. That’s not what I was trying to do, I swear! But I learned my lesson. Or you learned your lesson. Either way, I—”

Laura stopped with a gasp when she felt teeth grazing her skin. And when Carmilla bit down on her shoulder, Laura’s moan was completely unintentional. Carmilla shuddered at the sound and pulled back, eyes searching Laura’s flushed face.

“Tell me to stop,” she said softly. “Tell me I’m wrong… That you haven’t thought about this.”

Laura just swallowed hard.

With a small nod, Carmilla abruptly dropped her arms and began backing away. But before she could get too far, Laura took Carmilla’s hands in hers and tugged her right back.

“I can’t,” Laura breathed out. “I can’t tell you to stop. Or any of those other things, Carmilla…. I can’t.” 

Then with her hands tangled in the dark, tumbling tresses, Laura kissed Carmilla for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I kinda took a bit of Natasha's unlabeled-ness and pushed it onto my version of Carmilla because I have the author(ity).
> 
> Also, I wrote this instead of my 25 page paper, so any love / hate / acknowledgement will be much appreciated. 
> 
> Because I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell... that... you use to give me the attention I crave.
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> — EDIT —  
> So, I woke up one day with the terrible realization that the "kissing fiasco" in the flashback section was ambiguous enough that readers might refer back to the _Cheeky Kiss outside Classroom_ ™ instead of the _First Make-Out Sesh Evar_ ®, soooo I added a couple of details to clear that up.

**** “They’re not getting any healthier, Laur.”

Laura just scoffed, refusing to look up. 

She had managed to narrow down her cookie selection to the last two brands, but the math was now getting a little too challenging for her.

“Hey, can you lend me your engineer brain for a sec? If one serving of this one is four cookies and _this_ one has ten servings per box but _fifty_ cookies, how—”

“Nah.” Raven pushed the shopping cart past Laura without a second glance.

“Hey!” Laura shoved one of the packages back before chasing after her friend. “ _Raven._ ”

But her friend didn’t slow down. “Why buy cookies when you can just get the _ingredients,_ then get Mama Perr to make ‘em from scratch?”

Laura stopped in her tracks with a small _Huh._

“Besides, this way, you can’t stress over the nutrient facts ‘cause there won’t be any,” Raven continued, shrugging. “Which means…. no calories."

Shaking her head, impressed, Laura dropped the remaining box of cookies into a random bin. “Rae, you’re a genius,” she said, falling in step with her friend. 

“That’s why they say tell me,” Raven said breezily.

“Oh, wow. And so modest too…”

“Pfft, modesty’s just lying about how great you know you are.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Laura muttered. She checked the shopping list one more time. “Okay, so all that’s left is the basil and…” Her finger traced Perry’s neat handwriting. “Beer.”

Raven snatched the list away from Laura, crumpling the paper in the process. “You fuckin’ liar,” she said, over Laura’s loud protests. “… Hah! _Wine._ I knew it.”

“But it’s _crying juice!”_ Laura complained, still grabbing at Raven’s outstretched hand. 

“God, Laura.” Raven dropped her arm with an exaggerated groan. “ _Fine…_ We’ll get a four-pack or something for you and Laf to share, and leave the wine for the grown-ups.”

“Thank you,” Laura chirped, plucking the list from Raven’s grip. “That’s all I ask!”

Raven just grunted in response and watched her friend happily skip all the way to the alcohol section. 

// 

They were packing the groceries into the back of Raven’s jeep when Laura felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, isn’t that Mistress of Dark and Snark over there?”

“Who?” Laura looked. “Oh, Carm… uh, _milla,”_ she hastily added, but Raven didn’t even blink. “Yeah, whatever,” Laura finished in a low mutter.

Carmilla was slouched on a bench across the street with her signature red flannel and smirk, laughing at something her shaggy-haired companion was saying.

They had yet to notice the two girls putting away their groceries.

“So… you gonna say Hi or what?”

“No, of course not,” Laura said, a bit too forcefully. “We’re not friends.”

Plus, they were at the “off” part of their on-again/off-again… whatever it was. 

Laura actually hadn't heard from Carmilla since their _Beloved_ tutoring session. 

They left the diner together when it was time for Laura’s literature class, and though Carmilla didn’t offer per se, she ended up walking Laura to her class. She of course had her ear talked off by an overly enthusiastic Laura who just _had_ to share her thoughts on last night’s episode of _Orphan Black,_ but Carmilla didn’t seem to mind. She nodded at all the right points and even offered a chuckle or two when appropriate.

And the whole thing felt so routine and natural that when they got to their destination, it was too easy for Laura to just lean up and kiss Carmilla’s cheek goodbye. She didn’t even notice anything out of the ordinary until she felt Carmilla stiffen at her touch.

But by then, it was too late. 

The deed was done. 

She had kissed Carmilla in public. 

In front of everyone. 

Not that anyone was looking, but _everyone._

After a few unintelligible squeaks, Laura cried out, “Okay, thanks, bye!” and charged blindly into the classroom.

She then spent the next hour and a half feeling too flustered to participate in the class discussion despite all the impressive observations—i.e. Carmilla’s observations—she had wanted to share for extra credit.

Instead, she just kept checking her phone, hoping and dreading for some kind of acknowledgement, but all she got in the end were a few science puns from Lafontaine.

Laura tried to reason with herself that everything was fine. That it was completely normal. That friends kissed each other on the cheek all the time!

(But they weren’t friends.)

“Not friends?” echoed Raven with raised eyebrows. “Don’t you two hang out all the time or some shit?

“No…” Laura kept adjusting a bag that she knew was perfectly secure. “I’m _Clarke’s_ friend. So, I just hang out with Carmilla by proxy because she’s Clarke’s girlfriend.”

Raven snorted. “Yeah, that’s a love-hate relationship if I ever saw one.”

“What!— _No,_ ” Laura protested hotly. “I don’t _hate_ Carmilla and I don’t…” But she couldn’t even say the words. “We’re just not _friends._ ”

There was a long pause as Raven straightened up, fixing Laura with a bemused stare. “I was talking about Carmilla and Clarke…”

“What?”

“I mean that Carmillaand _Clarke_  have a love-hate relationship.”

“Right, right,” Laura said lamely, fighting the urge to cover her face. “Obvs.”

Raven narrowed her eyes, but thankfully dropped the subject for another.

“So, who’s that guy she’s hanging with anyway?” she asked. “John? Or… Joe or something.”

Laura just pursed her lips.

 

* * *

  

After that unexplainable kissing—okay, okay, _making out—_ fiasco, Laura spent about a week straight wondering how to bring it up. She unlocked her phone more than 50 times a day, staring helplessly at the screen until it blinked off. 

One time, she even got all the way to typing out: _Hey, remember that time I came over to see if you were okay and you got mad and then we made out against your door and alk2oqkdjalanfsmak agiekng,_ before deleting the whole thing with a frustrated cry.

But Laura had to do _something._

It was getting harder and harder for her to look Lexa or Clarke in the eye, much less hang out with them. And she couldn’t very well just avoid Carmilla for the rest of her life either. 

So, eventually, Laura girl-ed the hell up and marched straight for Carmilla’s ( _Clarke’s_ ) apartment, ready to drag a discussion out of the broody girl if she had to. 

But when Laura went to knock, she flashed back to the last time she was there, knocking on that same exact door, and her hand dropped as quickly as her stomach.

Immediately, Laura rushed off the porch only to stop herself after a few steps. She walked back grudgingly, but this time, she couldn’t raise her hand even halfway to the door before her stomach started protesting again. With an exasperated groan, Laura stomped back down the stairs.

She was on her third or fourth trip up when a low, monotonous voice drifted from the corner.

“So, you must be the creampuff.”

Laura whirled around with a yelp, coming face to face with a stocky guy in a dark bomber jacket. He stared back with bored eyes, leaning casually on the porch with a cigarette tucked between his fingers.

“Excuse me?” Laura’s voice came out a lot shriller than she intended. But then again, she was pretty sure that a complete stranger had just witnessed every bit of her frantic impression of a stair-master. “Do I _know_ you?”

The guy took a long drag and exhaled the smoke through his nostrils before droning, “No.”

That’s when it clicked.

“Wait, you’re _Murphy,_ aren’t you? I saw you at the housewarming party!”

No answer, but Laura knew she was right. 

She vaguely remembered Clarke complaining about Carmilla’s chain-smoking douche of a best friend. Plus, he seemed _exactly_ like the kind of person who’d hang out with Carmilla. He even called Laura by one of her…

A hot prickling sensation suddenly washed over the blonde.

“What exactly did Carmilla tell you about me?” she asked slowly.

Murphy curled his lips in a lazy half-smile, but didn’t offer anything more. Laura took a step towards him, about to press him again, when Carmilla herself strode out of the apartment.

“Laura…” Carmilla sounded startled, but indifference swept over her features before Laura could read into it any further. “Clarke’s inside,” she said flatly.

“Wait.” Laura grabbed Carmilla’s arm as she walked by.

Carmilla glanced down at the fingers wrapped around her wrist, prompting Laura to jerk back her hand. 

“Sorry,” she said, shaking out the hand with nervous laughter as Carmilla just watched. “But I, uh… I actually came here to…” But then Laura remembered that they weren’t alone.

Carmilla’s expression stayed blank as she wordlessly took in Laura’s silence. “Okay, then,” she said after a pause. “I’ll see you around, cutie.” And with that, Carmilla walked off before Laura could stop her again.

Murphy took one last drag from his cigarette before crushing the butt beneath his boot, impassive eyes still trained on Laura. 

“Bye. Creampuff,” he drawled over his shoulder, sauntering after Carmilla.

 

* * *

 

“Yeah, I don’t know. He goes by Murphy though.”

“Ohhh,” Raven said, thoughtfully leaning against the jeep. “Yeah, Laf’s told me that he’s a bit of an ass.”

Laura shrugged. “Well, _I_ don’t like him anyway.”

She chanced another peek and accidentally matched eyes with the guy in question. A small smirk playing over his lips, Murphy leaned over to whisper to his friend who finally looked over. Carmilla was wearing her reflective aviators, but Laura could still feel her intense gaze burning into her skin.

She stifled a shiver. “Come on, Rae. Perry’s gonna want these right away.”

“Right-o.”

Laura had to stop herself from looking out the window as they drove past the bench. 

// 

A bottle cap bounced off Laura’s shoulder, jolting her out of her thoughts.

“Quit zoning out, frosh,” Lafontaine said, holding out a beer. “Family night means you gotta participate.”

“Participate?” Laura echoed with a snort. “Yeah, okay. First off, I can’t cook and you know that. And secondly, you really think Perry’s gonna let anyone near that kitchen?” She gestured towards the redhead in question with her bottle.

Laf’s shoulders dropped in a contented sigh as they watched their frazzled girlfriend bustling around in the kitchen. “I’m a lucky ducky,” they murmured.

Laura pouted. “All right, that’s not fair. Why are you allowed to invite your girlfriend and _we,”_ she emphasized as Clarke sprawled out on the couch, resting her head in Laura’s lap, “are not?”

“Uh, ‘cause those two know how to behave in public?” Raven chimed in as she waltzed into the room. She plopped down on Clarke’s legs, arm outstretched to keep her wine from spilling. “By which I mean, they don’t grope each other every five seconds like horny little teenagers.”

“And Perr and I were part of the family _before_ we started dating.”

“#NoBromo,” Raven reminded her friend who pointed back in agreement. “Besides, I think we can all pretty much agree that Carmilla’s an awful person to be around, so…”

“ _Hey!”_

Laura froze. 

She and Clarke had voiced their objections at the same time. 

Though Raven and Clarke immediately busied themselves with a heated argument—Clarke defending her girlfriend, Raven defending her opinion—Laf looked over with a small frown. Laura took a long drink to avoid their curious eyes. 

“… and if you just get to _know_ her,” Clarke was saying, “I think—”

Raven cut her off with a bark of laughter. “ _How,_ Clarke? She _hates_ people!”

“That’s not really fair…”

“Oh, it’s _completely_ fair,” Raven insisted in a louder voice. “You’re the _only_ person I’ve ever seen her act halfway civilized towards, and even then…” She sipped her wine like it was tea, then as an afterthought she added, “Oh, and sometimes Laura too.”

Laura whipped her head up with a start. “Huh, what? _No.”_

“Yeah-huh,” Raven said, nudging her with a foot. “I mean, of course she doesn’t treat you nearly as well as she does Clarke, but then again… she _does_ Clarke, so…” She shrugged, tipping her wine glass back. “Maybe if you let her see you naked every once in a while?”

Heat crept up Laura’s neck as she tried and failed to come up with a suitable response. Clarke promptly sat up with a sigh and swatted at Raven’s arm, telling her to knock it off. To stop teasing “poor lil’ Laura.”

Which was just a bit too much for Laura at the moment…

“Bathroom,” she blurted out, abruptly getting to her feet.

Raven and Clarke paused their bickering to exchange an amused look.

“Shit, all right…”

“Well, you know the way, so…”

With a stiff nod, Laura speed-walked out of the living room and straight into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and splashed some water on her face, breathing as slowly as possible. She had counted all the way to 127 breaths before there was a knock at the door. 

“Uh, Laura?” Lafontaine sounded hesitant. “Dinner’s ready, so… come out whenever.”

Sighing one last time, Laura yanked the door open and face Laf head-on.

“Are you okay?” they asked seriously.

Laura gave them a quick nod that wasn’t convincing at all.

“Hey, you know—”

_“Hurry up, assholes,”_ Raven bellowed from the kitchen. “ _You know Perry doesn’t let us eat until we’re_ all _at the table!”_

Her voice was soon overpowered by one of Perry’s stern lectures on the importance of appropriate language and volume around the dinner table.

Lafontaine rolled their eyes, but Laura screwed her face up into what she hoped was a bright smile. 

“I’m fine!” she exclaimed, pushing Laf towards the dining room. “Let’s eat.”

Laura spent the whole dinner in silence as much as possible. She figured that if she kept her mouth full of Perry’s mushroom risotto, there would be much less room for her foot in there. Afterwards, Laura even insisted on doing the dishes because it gave her a solid excuse to stay out of conversations.

“Yo, anyone up for two-for-one special on shots at Polis tonight?” Clarke called out, waving her phone in the air. “O just invited us.”

Raven casually lifted her head from the couch, where she had collapsed earlier complaining of a food coma. “… Who’s gonna be there?”

“Mostly other Grounders. Probably the Zeta bros. They _really_ like hanging out with Lawrence for some reason…”

“So, _Anya’s_ probably gonna be there, huh?” Lafontaine asked in an overly innocent tone. 

“Uh… yes, she’ll be there,” Clarke answered hesitantly. She looked up just in time to witness Raven shooting a glare at a smirking Lafontaine. “Am I missing something here?”

“Little Rae-rae here's just got a case of the heart-eyes is all.”

“Shut up,” Raven mumbled, shoving her friend’s shoulder. “It’s not a thing. We don’t have to talk about it. She’s just really… hot, okay?” Her cheeks were tinged with an uncharacteristic shade of pink.

Clarke let out a scandalized noise, but Laura quickly came to Raven’s defense.

“No, I totally get it!” she piped up from the kitchen. “Anya’s got that vibe that’s all, 'I’m going to kill you and you’re totally gonna like it because I’m so hot,’ and she knows how to _work_ it too.”

Laf and Raven both nodded, voicing their assent, and Clarke had to plug in her ears and yell _la la la la_ until they stopped. 

“In any case, I’m deft. going,” Raven said, scrambling to her feet. She wrapped an arm around Lafontaine’s neck. “And you’re coming too. To make I don’t embarrass myself.”

“Oh, how fun,” Laf deadpanned.

Clarke turned towards the two girls still cleaning up. “Laur? Perr? What say you?”

Perry just shook her head. “No, no. It’s much too late for me to go… _galavanting_ from bar to bar. Thank you, but no thank you.” She went back to wiping down the table with a sniff.

“No worries, mamas. Laura?”

Laura wiped her hands on a towel as she weighed her options. 

If all the Grounders were going that meant that Lexa would be there too. But Clarke being there also meant that _Carmilla_ would probably be there as well. And Laura didn’t really feel like breaking their radio silence in an alcohol-induced public setting.

“Nah,” she finally said, waving her hand. “I’m kinda tired and should really start working on my Modernism paper,” which was actually true so Laura didn’t have to feel bad. “Next time!”

“Boo, you Laur,” Raven quipped, making Clarke snort and high-five her.

“It’s all good! You’ll just have to drink twice as much next time,” Clarke said with a wink.

“Deal.”

“Actually, count me out too,” Laf said. They shrugged at Raven’s disapproving whine. “What? Clarke’s more than capable of keeping you in line.”

“Maybe even more so,” Clarke grumbled. “Because I’m sure as hell not letting you flirt with my team captain.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Raven said smugly.

“You can try me, Reyes.”

“And I fully intend to.”

Then, they were gone out the door in a flurry of banter and laughter.

Laura sighed. “I should get going too.”

She thanked Perry for the dinner with a hug and a kiss on the cheek (which wasn’t weird because it was totally platonic and they were _friends_ ), and was about to hug Lafontaine too when they held her off with a hand.

“Actually, why don’t I walk you home, Laura?” they said. “It’s getting dark and you shouldn’t be out this late by yourself.”

Laura knew there was no point in arguing.

//

They walked in silence for a while and Laura tried to convince herself that it wasn’t awkward, but as soon as they were in a less crowded area, Laf turned to her.

“Hey, Laur?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a crush on Carmilla?”

Laura forced an exhale through her teeth in lieu of answering.

“Dude, I totally get it,” Laf said, bumping shoulders with Laura. “It happens. Everyone crushes on a buddy some time or another. I’m friends with Raven Reyes for Pete’s sake. Okay? _Raven._ ”

Laura had to roll her eyes at that. “It’s just ridiculous…” she finally said. “I know I shouldn’t be… you know, crushing on her or whatever, but Carmilla’s just really annoying and broody and grumpy all the time…”

“… Yeah. Well, how could you _not_ fall for that?”

“No, I mean… Lexa’s great. She’s perfect, right?” Laura’s voice steadily got louder the more she rambled. “And Carmilla’s so different… and I don’t know. Different’s sexy… and exciting. _Not that Lexa isn’t sexy or exciting because she so is._ But I know I shouldn’t be into Clarke’s girlfriend… but that’s what makes it so… different?” She covered her face with a groan. “No, it’s not that! I’m just a terrible girlfriend and a terrible friend and, oh my God, _you’re totally judging me for being a—_ ”

Lafontaine yanked on Laura’s hand to cut her off. “Breathe.”

Laura took a deep breath and was about to exhale into another rant, but Laf held up a hand and shushed her.

“No, just keep breathing, okay? And listen to me for a bit.”

With a grateful nod, Laura obediently focused on breathing and not talking at the same time. Lafontaine waited until her breaths evened out before speaking again.

“Okay, am I judging you?” they said. “Of fucking course not, Laura. There’s nothing to judge you for! Plus, you’re my friend, and I met you before I met Clarke, so though I’m not allowed to admit it—as per the laws of friendship established during the dawn of humanity—I’m team _you_ before team anyone else.”

Laura wrapped her arms around herself with a shaky laugh.

“Well, except maybe Perry,” Lafontaine added after some consideration. “Or Raven… Basically, you’re only before Clarke, okay?”

“Okay,” Laura agreed, chuckling.

They walked the rest of the way to Laura’s dorm in a more comfortable silence.

“You got it from here?” Laf asked, once they got to the entrance.

Laura nodded, then wrapped them up in a giant hug. “Thank you. I needed that… more than you know.”

Lafontaine jokingly let out a wheeze, but Laura hung on tighter until they squeezed back.

“Hey,” they said, once Laura finally let them go. “So, just curious. Why  _her.._.?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why _Carmilla_ of all people? You can't stand her."

Laura sighed, her lips quirking into a half-smile as she shrugged. 

"I'll let ya know once I find out."

 

//

The paper was impossible.

Somehow everything that Carmilla had taught her about _Beloved_ now seemed beyond Laura’s comprehension. Did she even _read_ the book?

Oh, right.

She didn’t.

Fuck.

As much as Laura didn’t want to admit it, she knew she had no choice.

 

**Laura [9:46 PM]  
** Hey, what’s the difference between fantasy and magic realism?

**Carmeleon [9:52 PM]  
** It’s all about the setting. Fantasy is obviously fantastical by its very nature, while magic realism has fantastic elements intruding into an otherwise realistic environment.

 **Laura [9:54 PM]  
** But wouldnt the realistic setting just become fanasticky then?

**Carmeleon [9:59 PM]  
** No.

**Laura [9:59 PM]  
** What, why not????

 **Carmeleon [10:01 PM]  
** Is this really the best time to be asking about this?

**Laura [10:02 PM]  
** Sorry, sorry! Have fun

**Carmeleon [10:05 PM]  
** I’m proofreading essays written by a bunch of freshman non-English majors... Hardly the definition of “fun.”

**Laura [10:05 PM]  
** Aren’t you at Polis?

**Carmeleon [10:07 PM]  
** Aren’t you…?

**Laura [10:08 PM]  
** No! Obviously!

**Carmeleon [10:09 PM]  
** Lol.

**Carmeleon [10:09 PM]  
** Clarke had sent me so many drunken selfies with Lexa & co. that I just assumed you were there as well.

**Laura [10:10 PM]  
** Ugh, you been getting those too? She’s totally blowing up my snapchat rn

**Carmeleon [10:12 PM]  
** That’s what you get for having a snapchat.

 **Carmeleon [10:13 PM]  
** So, I know why *I’m* home alone. What’s keeping you from drinking the night away?

**Laura [10:15 PM]  
** I’m trying to start my essay on Beloved lol…. Will you help me please?

**Laura [10:15 PM]  
** Pretty, pretty, pretty pleeeeeaaassseeee?????

**Carmeleon [10:16 PM]  
** Fine. But texting isn’t the best interface for writing essays.

**Laura [10:17 PM]  
** Okay, can I come over then?

**Carmeleon [10:21 PM]  
** I can’t stop you, cupcake.

//

When Laura arrived, the front door was unlocked and the apartment was dark.

She briskly made her way over to Carmilla’s room with an ease that could only come from months of practice.

Laura paused at the doorway before lightly tapping on the wooden frame.

“Come in.”

Laura took a deep breath, pushing her way inside, only to have that breath catch in her throat.

Carmilla was obviously dressed down for the night, which wasn’t fair because no one should be allowed to look that attractive in their sleep clothes. She was wearing a pair of tiny cotton shorts, a grey tank-top loose enough to show off her bra-less state, and—worst of all—wire-framed glasses.

Fuck.

Luckily, Carmilla was too absorbed in her work to notice Laura’s mini-meltdown. She just kept twirling her pen between her fingers, frowning at a page that was already heavily marked in red.

“Hey,” Laura eventually managed to get out.

“Hey,” Carmilla returned.

Laura saw her dark eyes flick up and down her body before turning back to the paper.

“So, you need my help or what?” Carmilla asked in a bored voice.

“Right.”

Laura plopped down on the bed to get as much distance as possible between her and Carmilla.

But she obviously hadn’t considered just how much the bed would smell like Carmilla. Or how much the soft sheets against her skin would remind her of the last time she was underneath Carmilla. Or how attractive Carmilla was no matter how far Laura tried to sit away from her…

Maybe she hadn’t thought this through very well at all.

… Fuck.

“You all right there, creampuff?”

“Nope! I mean, yup!” Laura shook her head. “ _Yes._ I’m fine.”

With a small sigh, she pulled out her laptop and began asking about everything she found confusing. Carmilla answered each question slowly, but thoroughly, pausing only to sip at her tea or scribble angrily on an essay.

But eventually— _inevitably—_ Laura found herself trailing off as she watched Carmilla chew on her pen cap, musing over a particularly frustrating paragraph.

_Fuck._

“… Carm?”

“Hm?”

“So, I was thinking…”

“Mm.”

Rolling her eyes to herself, Laura closed her laptop and trudged over to Carmilla. She unceremoniously rolled Carmilla’s chair away from her desk, but before Carmilla could voice her protests, Laura was swinging a leg around and straddling her lap.

Carmilla’s mouth snapped shut, her hands automatically going to Laura’s hips.

“So, like I was saying,” Laura continued, now that she had Carmilla’s full attention. “Remember the last time we… When I had to stay quiet?”

“Well, you _did_ leave me a pleasant little reminder…”

Laura pulled the strap of Carmilla’s tank-top to the side, her eyes glazing over as she studied the sharp contrast between the purpling bruise and pale skin. She felt Carmilla shiver underneath her as she carefully traced the grooves of the bite mark with her fingertips.

“Right,” Laura said in a small, faltering voice. “So… I just thought that it was really hot when I wasn’t allowed to… you know, make any sounds…”

“So… you want to wait until Clarke gets back from the bar or…?”

“No!” Laura shook her head frantically. “Nope, never again… I just thought that we could maybe…” and she mumbled the rest, looking away.

Carmilla’s lips twitched, but she wanted Laura to repeat herself. “Hmm?”

Laura kept her eyes firmly fixed on the ceiling. “… Roleplay.”

She fidgeted as Carmilla reveled in the awkward silence. 

“Did you have a particular scenario in mind?” Carmilla chuckled when Laura just shrugged in response. “Okay, how about this one: We’re both in relationships with other people, but secretly sleeping with each other. Then, one day, my girlfriend comes home earlier than expected, and—”

With a loud groan, Laura started to get up, but Carmilla’s grip tightened on her hips.

“I’m _kidding,_ cupcake,” she said, quirking an eyebrow. “Is this really something you want to do?”

Laura bit her lip and nodded slowly.

“Then, how about we play a game instead?” Carmilla’s eyes were flashing dangerously and Laura wanted her even more. “See, I’ve noticed that you’re loudest whenever I’m fucking you with the strap-on…” She paused to smirk at Laura’s hips bucking involuntarily into hers.

But Carmilla wasn’t wrong.

It was actually the reason why they couldn’t use the toy unless they were more than 100% sure that Clarke was out of town. And the first—and only time—Carmilla had brought it with her to Laura’s dorm room, Laura received a few formal noise complaints the very next day.

“Okay,” Laura said, swallowing hard. “So, what’s the game?”

“The game is you have to be quiet through three orgasms… and if you can, I’ll let you use the strap-on on me.”

Laura’s eyes immediately darkened. “Really?”

“Really.”

“What happens if I lose?”

“Then you go home and I get to finish my work.”

“Can we make it two? I don’t think I can do three.”

“No.”

“… Fine”

A filthy smirk tugged at Carmilla’s lips. “Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, lovelies!
> 
> The next chapter is coming straight from the Sin Bin™ ~~ 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of my IRL friends have found this fic, and.... this message is for them:
> 
> The following chapter has come straight from the Sin Bin™, and as a result, I ask that you please please PLEASE don't read this!!!!! Otherwise, you won't be able to look me in the eye; I won't be able to look _you_ in the eye, which means we can't be friends anymore. So - for the sake of our FRIENDSHIP — I'd recommend that you forget this site ever existed, and we can all live in blissful ignorance together.  
>   
> 
> And to everyone else: 
> 
> Enjoy (;

**Carmander [3:14 AM]  
** What the fuck is your problem

**Carmander [3:18 AM]  
** Goddammit… out of all the imbecilic, idiotic things you could have done

**Carmander [3:22 AM]  
** You can’t just show up at my doorstep all wide-eyed, naive, and demanding  
CLARKE was home

**Carmander [3:23 AM]  
** And for what? To talk?  
I have nothing to say to you

**Carmander [3:37 AM]  
** You do realize it was only a kiss, right?  
That you’re making a MOUNTAIN out of a fucking KISS?

**Carmander [3:42 AM]  
** I don’t know what you were expecting from me…

**Carmander [3:51 AM]  
** And I don’t care if the guilt is eating you alive  
If it’s burning you from the inside out  
That’s YOUR fucking problem, not mine

**Carmander [3:53 AM]  
** It didn’t mean anything, so get over it.

**Carmander [3:53 AM]  
** I don’t owe you anything.

**Carmander [3:54 AM]  
** We’re not friends

 

* * *

 

Carmilla shoved Laura onto the bed, climbing on top and kissing her before the blonde could protest. Laura sighed into the kiss and leaned up, her hands running up Carmilla’s sides, but Carmilla grabbed her by the wrists and pinned them over her head with a low growl.

“ _Hey—_ ”

“Shut up,” Carmilla said. She pressed down on Laura’s arms when she struggled. “Unless… you want to throw the game now?”

Laura stared up at Carmilla, lips parted but saying nothing, then she dropped back down onto the bed, relaxing her arms in Carmilla’s grip.

Carmilla smirked wide. “That’s what I thought.”

She tugged on Laura’s lower lip with her teeth and into another kiss, rolling her hips down into Laura’s at the same time. And they were both impressed at how easily Laura controlled her breathing.

“Good girl,” Carmilla murmured into Laura’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “Now… _strip._ ”

And with that, she was off Laura in a flash.

Laura undressed quickly, leaving a small pile of discarded clothing by the bed, as her gaze followed Carmilla to the closet. She felt her mouth go dry at the sight of Carmilla putting on the harness—the black leather tightening over her pale, lithe hips.

Carmilla sauntered over with a smug smile, just watching Laura watch her.

“Just the way I like you,” she said, her eyes raking down Laura’s uncovered body. “All right, come here, cutie.” She patted at the edge of the bed. “Now.”

Laura obediently inched forward, legs spreading as Carmilla settled in between them.

“No, no, keep your eyes open.”

Carmilla brushed Laura’s hair back with a gentle hand, leaning in to drop kisses down her shoulder. Laura drummed her fingers on her lap and tried to focus on something unrelated to the familiar bulge rubbing up against her.

“I’m really going to enjoy this, creampuff…”

Carmilla leisurely sank to her knees, keeping steady eye contact with Laura the entire time. She then made her way up the insides of Laura’s thighs with little nips and kisses, alternating between the legs as she went. But when Laura started tensing up expectantly, Carmilla just traced a hot stripe to Laura’s hip with her tongue and bit down hard.

Laura released a slow hiss between her gritted teeth.

But said nothing.

With an appreciative hum, Carmilla dragged her kisses up Laura’s chest, pausing to suck a nipple into her mouth as she palmed Laura’s other breast.

And Laura willed her hands to stay relaxed.

As long as she could keep her hands from clenching, Laura knew that she could maintain some semblance of control. She reminded herself of this fact over and over as she trained her eyes on the ceiling. But after a while, Laura gave up and her hand flew to Carmilla’s shoulder, pushing and squeezing, saying everything her voice couldn’t.

Carmilla chuckled to herself. “All right, cupcake. I guess I’ve teased you enough for now,” she relented before crashing her lips into Laura’s again.

Laura immediately dove into the kiss, her hands bringing Carmilla’s face impossibly closer, grateful to have her mouth occupied (with something other than keeping quiet). She didn’t even realize her hips were rolling into Carmilla’s until Carmilla stilled them with firm hands and a disapproving cluck.

“You ready for me?”

Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla, stiffening when she felt Carmilla’s fingers slide down her slick arousal. 

“Guess so,” Carmilla answered herself with a smirk.

She dragged Laura into another kiss, waiting patiently for Laura’s breathing to slow back down. But as soon as Carmilla started pushing into her, Laura broke of the kiss with a strangled gasp, burying her face into Carmilla’s shoulder.

Carmilla snaked a possessive arm around Laura, and in one smooth motion, she pulled the girl towards her while thrusting forward, and sank all the way to the hilt…

And Laura was coming.

Digging her nails into Carmilla’s back, muffling desperate pants into Carmilla’s neck, Laura was coming.

“Wow, creampuff,” Carmilla laughed, once the spasms had petered down to a slight tremor. “That was quick. Even for you.”

In response, Laura sank her teeth over the original bite on Carmilla’s shoulder.

With a hiss of pain, Carmilla yanked Laura back by the hair. “You’ll pay for that, cutie.”

Laura licked her lips because she was counting on it. 

Carmilla tugged at the back of her knees, prompting Laura to lie back down on the bed. She settled her hands on Laura’s hips, squeezing tightly, and that was the only warning Carmilla gave before setting out a hard, brutal pace. 

She pounded into Laura mercilessly, pulling out only to slam back inside within the same breath.

Fisting her hands in the sheets, Laura tried to force her thoughts elsewhere. Anywhere that wasn’t between her legs where the hot pleasure was swelling in violent waves. Anywhere, as if she couldn’t already feel it everywhere.

Carmilla started thrusting harder as she listened to Laura’s heavy breathing, tinged with the beginnings of moans that threatened to sound but never did. She snuck a hand between them, pressing firm circles onto Laura’s clit with her fingers, and sent the girl hurtling over the edge once more.

(And somehow, Laura _didn’t_ draw blood despite how hard she had bitten down on her lower lip to keep from crying out.)

Laura sobbed out a breath, clenching at the sudden emptiness, when she felt Carmilla slip out of her in one easy movement. Carmilla climbed onto the bed lazily, prompting Laura to shuffle backwards with little nudges, before crawling back on top of her.

“Two down…” Carmilla sounded impressed. As if she hadn’t expected Laura to get this far.

Laura just nodded frantically in agreement.

“One more to go,” Carmilla drawled. “And for _this_ round, we’re going to take our sweet-ass time…” Then her smirk faltered. “You doing okay there, cupcake?” she asked softly, cupping Laura’s face with a gentle hand.

Breath starting to even, Laura nodded again. This time more calmly.

Carmilla leaned in and captured her lips again in a small kiss.

“Okay, you ready?”

Another nod. 

With a small nod of her own, Carmilla ran her hands up and down Laura’s body, eyes following admiringly. 

Laura inhaled sharply when Carmilla suddenly pinched her nipple without warning. Narrowing her eyes, she shot Carmilla an incredulous look.

“What?” Carmilla said, winking. “I _had_ to try.”

She bent down for another kiss, her lips moving slowly and carefully against Laura’s. But Laura stopped kissing back to brace herself when she felt Carmilla pressing against her once more.

This time, Carmilla pushed into Laura at a much slower pace, sinking gradually inch by inch, until their hips were flush against each other’s. And somehow feeling even fuller than before, Laura couldn’t stop the low whine from climbing out of her throat.

“No, shh, shhh, shh, Laura…” Carmilla murmured at the small sound. “You’re doing so well, baby. You’re almost there, okay?”

After one last gentle kiss, she started moving her hips again, settling into a slow but steady rhythm.

Laura covered her face with trembling hands, her breath stuttering out through clenched teeth in time with Carmilla’s thrusts.

It wasn’t long before the pleasure started building up again.

“Look at me. I _mean_ it,” Carmilla warned, grinding her hips down as emphasis.

Laura whipped her hands off her face and fisted them back into the sheets.

“You’re getting close. I can feel you tightening around me. And it’s so… fucking… hot.”

Fighting the instinct to shut her eyes, Laura wrapped her legs around Carmilla’s waist and tried to focus on stifling her groans somewhere deep down in her throat.

“You like this, don’t you?” Carmilla was panting too now. “But as much as I love seeing you like this, all desperate and gasping underneath me—”

Laura would have covered her ears if her hands weren’t too busy trying to tear Carmilla’s sheets to shreds.

“—I kinda miss hearing you scream my name, so…”

With that, Carmilla sped up her movements, and Laura’s eyes were rolling back in pleasure.

_Fuck._

Laura abruptly grabbed at one of Carmilla’s hands and pressed it against her mouth as hard as she could. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at the gesture but shrugged it off, shifting her weight to her other arm.

She didn’t mind being Laura’s gag for now.

After a few more thrusts and a well-timed bite to the neck, Laura’s back was arching as she came for the third and final time, smothering her desperate moans into Carmilla’s palm.

She fell back onto the bed with a heavy exhale, Carmilla collapsing on top of her.

“You beat the game, cupcake.” Carmilla planted a chaste kiss on Laura’s cheek. “Good girl.”

And finally— _finally—_ Laura threw her head back with a loud, ragged groan that was long overdue, “Fuck!” She covered her face with her hands, voice breaking out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… _Fuck,_ ” she insisted in a breathy voice when Carmilla pulled out of her with a laugh.

“Creampuff, that’s the longest I’ve _ever_ seen you go without talking. Maybe we should do this more often…”

Laura just curled into a ball, still mewling and trembling.

With a lopsided grin, Carmilla reached over and affectionately tousled Laura’s mess, slightly damp blonde hair.

“You know, creampuff,” she started conversationally, loosening the straps, as she hopped off the bed, “I’d com- _pletely_ understand if you’re too tired to hold up your end of the bargain tonight. We can always just cash in your raincheck some other time. You know, when you’re feeling more up to the task…”

“ _No._ ”

Carmilla turned around and matched eyes with a very limp Laura getting to her feet. A slight smirk came over her features as she watched Laura stumble over to her on weak, shaky legs.

“We’re doing this,” Laura growled out.

“Right.” She grabbed the harness.

“Fucking.” Yanked Carmilla towards her.

“ _Now._ ” Leaning in close, she captured Carmilla’s lips in a searing kiss.

(And soon, Laura discovered that Carmilla herself wasn’t very quiet at the other end of the strap-on either.)

//

Laura woke up with a start, Carmilla’s arms still wrapped around her, holding her close. She lifted her head off Carmilla’s chest and shot a glance around the room.

_How long were they out?_

Laura didn’t mean to fall asleep.

They made it a point not to stay over at each other’s places, sometimes even when there was no danger of being caught. It was actually one of the only rules that they still tried to keep to.

But Laura was exhausted and Carmilla didn't kick her out, so…

A smile tugged at Laura’s lips as she looked down at the girl she had been using as a pillow.

Carmilla was snoring softly, still as the proverbial dead, and Laura wanted to kiss her. And, yes, Laura was pretty sure that Carmilla had been drooling for the last hour or so, but she also had a large expanse of pale skin on display, and so Laura still wanted to kiss her.

With a small sigh, Laura settled for tracing a short message down Carmilla’s back, content to just watch the girl shiver in her sleep.

Then, a loud crash sounded outside the bedroom followed by muted voices and footsteps, and Laura’s blood instantly ran cold.

“Carm,” she whispered frantically, shaking the girl’s shoulder. Carmilla just groaned and rolled away. “ _Carm,_ someone’s _here…_ ”

_“Carmilla!”_ called out a voice from the living room, and Carmilla’s eyes finally blinked open. 

She scrambled to her feet and tossed a blanket over Laura’s body.

“Stay,” Carmilla ordered—as if Laura had anywhere else to go—before she slipped into a robe and strode outside, making sure to close the door behind her.

Laura wrapped the blanket around her as she listened to the commotion outside.

“All right, what the _fuck_ is going— _Clarke?”_

“She… she drank too much. Again.”

Red-hot shame flared up in Laura’s chest as she recognized Lexa’s voice.

“Fuck… Hey, love, can you hear me?”

There was a slurred, hesitant _Yes,_ then wet sobs drowned out the rest of the sentence.

“No, no, sunshine… Don’t cry. I’m right here, okay?” Carmilla said in a soothing voice before snapping, _“What the fuck happened?”_

“So, okay, we all got, um, pretty drunk a few hours in, right?” Raven’s words spilled out shakily as she rushed to explain. “But then Clarke _didn’t_ stop drinking. And then, uh… she got a bunch of guys to buy her shots all night… An-and, and, I’m pretty sure that she was also, you know, sneaking a _fuck-ton_ of drinks behind our backs, so…”

“And you call yourself a _fucking friend?_ I swear to—”

“Hey, hey, _hey!”_ Octavia’s voice rang out. “That’s not going to fix _anything,_ all right?”

“Yeah,” Raven grumbled. “And I’ve _already_ been yelled at enough for one night…”

_“Raven,”_ Octavia said sharply. Then, in a gentler tone, “Hey, you still got her?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Lexa said with a grunt.

“Good… Let’s get her to bed.”

The voices got closer as the crowd made their way to Clarke’s room.

“Oh, Clarke,” Carmilla sighed. “What’s going on?”

Clarke’s reply was soft, but even Laura could hear her from the room over.

… _I’m just so, so sad._

It was a long while before someone spoke again.

“Will you be okay?” Lexa’s voice was steady, but Laura knew her well enough to recognize the hint of concern. “Watching her, I mean. I can stay… Someone should be with her.”

“No, it’s fine. I got it from here… Thank you for bringing her home.”

There was a mumble of assent and goodbyes coupled with shuffling feet, then the front door creaked shut and the air was still once more.

When Carmilla eventually stepped back into the bedroom, her face was lined with worry.

“I should go,” Laura whispered automatically.

“Not now. You don’t want to accidentally run into one of them…”

Right.

Laura hugged her knees, resting her chin on top with a long exhale.

“You can… You can stay if you want,” Carmilla said, rubbing at her eyes. “You can always just sneak out before Clarke gets up tomorrow. Or we can think of something in the morning… You don’t have to leave.”

But Laura shook her head because she definitely did.

After a safe amount of time had passed, Laura shouldered her backpack and took her leave. She tripped over the discarded sex toy on her way out but chose not to ask Carmilla whether that was ironic or not. Especially since—as Laura noted when she paused at Clarke’s doorway—Carmilla was too preoccupied watching her girlfriend sleep.

For a brief moment, Laura let herself imagine Carmilla walking her out and giving her a goodnight kiss… And it felt wrong and right at the same time.

Laura left without saying goodbye.

//

Clarke was just getting out of the apartment when Laura arrived.

“Hey, Laur!” Clarke called out before wincing at the sound of her own voice. “Ah, Jesus… Worst hangover ever.” She rubbed her temple with a groan, “I might have gotten a little _too_ crazy at Polis last night.”

Laura gave her a small nod. “Yeah, I heard.”

“Yup. Never drinkin’ ever again.”

“You always say that.”

“And I always mean it!” Clarke laughed, before adding, “Well… until I _don’t.”_

There was a small pause as Clarke noticed the front door creaking back open. She yanked it shut with an annoyed grunt, quickly locking it before it could open again.

“I couldn’t find my keys last night,” she explained when Laura raised her eyebrows, “so Raven had to pick the lock, and now… I think our door’s broken.” Clarke sighed, running a hand through her hair exasperatedly. “Anyway… You here to see me?”

Laura shoved her hands deep into her pockets. “Yeah, actually. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…”

“Oh! Okay. Well, I was actually on my way to go bother Carmilla at work.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, she did the whole ‘good girlfriend’ thing by taking care of me last night,” Clarke said, grinning sheepishly. “So, I figured I should return the favor and bring her some lunch…” She raised the brown paper bag in hand as evidence. “Because sometimes Carmilla gets so annoyed at the customers that she forgoes all forms of self-care and, like, forgets to eat, you know?”

(Yes, Laura did know.)

“Right, right,” Laura said. “Well… that’s nice of you!”

“You wanna come with?” Clarke jingled her car keys with a smile. “We can talk on the way there! And I can make Carmilla make you a free hot chocolate or something.”

But Laura was already shaking her head. “No, it’s fine. You should spend time with your girlfriend.”

“Well, I’ve been told that I make a much better friend than girlfriend, so…” Clarke’s brow furrowed when Laura failed to even acknowledge the joke. She was apparently too busy shifting her weight nervously back and forth, eyes darting everywhere but at Clarke herself, to even force a laugh. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine!” Laura said hastily, the unexpected volume making her friend wince again. “Sorry…” She took a deep breath before continuing in a calmer voice, “It’s fine, Clarke. We can just… save it for another time. Promise.

“All right, I’ll hold you to that then,” Clarke said, pointing at Laura before climbing into her car. “See you around, Laur!”

Laura offered a half-hearted wave and smile as she watched Clarke drive away.

 

* * *

 

**Carmander [4:39 AM]  
** Fine

**Carmander [4:42 AM]  
** Okay, fine, I get it…

**Carmander [4:47 AM]  
** You’re just being annoying or whatever because you’re a good person. So, of course you’d care and want to be considerate of everyone’s feelings… Clarke’s, Lexa’s.. maybe even mine

**Carmander [4:51 AM]  
** So, fine, we can talk if you really want.  
But jesus christ, cupcake, give a girl a warning next time….

**Laura [4:51 AM]  
** camrijmilla w hat do uouw wsnt

**Carmander [4:52 AM]  
** … Go to sleep, creampuff.

**Laura [4:52 AM]  
** nk im awake lets flak plea e

**Carmander [4:52 AM]  
** We’ll talk some other time. Promise.

**Laura [4:53 AM]  
** Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I don't know what the heck that was... lol.
> 
> BUT I SAW ELISE & NATASHA IN NYC AND TOUCHED THEIR HANDS SO I DON'T EVEN CARE  
> :DDDDDDDDDDDD


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I just got back from A-Camp :D
> 
> Also, there's been some (minor) changes to the story: The class Laura, Raven, & Laf are taking in the 2nd chapter is now _anthropology_ instead of geology. Why? Because the flashback from the 4th chapter where Laura's complaining about geology was supposed to be from an earlier semester. 
> 
> What? No one cares? 
> 
> Okay, that's fine because this is for my own anal-retentive sanity.
> 
> In any case, anthropology. Yes. That's what's happening. 
> 
> Okay? Okay. 
> 
> Okay.

**** It was easy for Laura to ignore the sniggers coming from either side of her seat, but the paper football was a-whole-nother story altogether. 

For one thing, Raven and Lafontaine’s aim sucked. They had been flicking the paper football back and forth over Laura’s head for the past half-hour, but more often than not, the little triangle flew _into_ her head rather than over. 

And Laura was now starting to realize that her friends might be doing it on purpose.

“All right, that’s enough!” she cried, when the projectile in question had struck her cheek yet again. Snatching the paper football off the table before Raven could, Laura crushed the tiny triangle into an even tinier wad and tossed it aside. “Some of us are trying to pass this class!” Then, she rolled her eyes, adding, “Or rather, _one_ of us is anyway.”

In retrospect, inviting her friends to an outdoor homework session was probably not the brightest of ideas, but Laura unfortunately couldn’t occupy a whole table by herself. The last time she did that, an angry group of history majors tried to claim precedence, which eventually led to a screaming match—and Laura almost _won,_ by the way—until Lexa arrived to drag her away to relative safety.

Plus, it didn’t seem too out of the question to expect Lafontaine and Raven to study for a class that they were _actually_ in.

Turned out that Laura was wrong.

“Fine,” Raven said as she slumped forward, leaning heavily on her elbows. “What’s the assignment for this dumb-ass class of ours anyway?”

“Reading chapters six and seven, then answering all the questions at the end. You know… Just like we’ve been doing all semester?”

“But Dr. Roth never checks the homework!” Lafontaine protested. Much to Laura’s exasperation, their hands were busy folding another paper football. “So, it’d be an even _bigger_ waste of time and effort than it already was…”

Laura rapped on the table emphatically until her friends reluctantly sat up in their seats. “Where’s your stuff anyway?” she asked, eyeing their conspicuous lack of materials. There wasn’t much on the table besides Laura’s books and some paper just waiting to be folded into origami footballs. “You _do_ have the textbook, right?”

Lafontaine and Raven shared a pointed look.

“Yeah?”

“Sure.”

Laura covered her face with a groan. “But you had it at the start of the semester!” In fact, Laura was almost certain that she could recall— _verbatim—_ the complaints her friends had madeabout the textbook’s price, weight, uselessness, etc.

“Yeah,” Raven said with a shrug, “and then we _came_ to class and realized it was a big joke, so we told the bookstore that we were dropping it and— _boom!—_ full refund.”

“And it covered our first month of rent, so yay.” Lafontaine launched a brand-new paper football over Laura’s head.

“Okay, but what about the final?” Laura pressed, throwing up her hands. “You can trash social sciences all you want, Laf, but you _have_ to satisfy all gen. ed requirements to graduate on time.” Then, she rounded on Raven. “And _you._ Do you _really_ wanna fail a class your last— _Why are we all sitting on this side of the table?”_

Laura rubbed furiously at her eye, which had suffered a devastating blow from the paper football, courtesy of Raven. Something that wouldn’t have happened—as Laura loudly pointed out—if Raven and Lafontaine had just sat on the other side of the table. Or perhaps even just next to each other.

“… Because Rae wanted to see how many times we could hit you before you noticed?”

“I noticed the very first time!”

“Well, we had to see if the results were reproducible.”

“Raven, I swear to God…”

But any further threats and giggly rationalizations petered out when the trio noticed another person joining them at the table.

“Laura,” Lexa greeted with a small smile. She also nodded at Lafontaine and Raven, who answered with a _Hey!_ and a half-hearted hand raise respectively.

“Oh, hey, babe!” Laura waved her girlfriend over for a cheek kiss. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Just wanted to see you.” Lexa ran a thumb underneath Laura’s now watering eye. “Is your eye okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Laura said, waving off her girlfriend’s hand and worry. “You wanna join us? We’re just doing our anthropology homework.”

Raven promptly jumped to her feet, pocketing the paper football and latching onto Lafontaine’s elbow. “Actually, we were just heading out.”

“We were?” Lafontaine frowned, but let Raven pull them to their feet. “Oh, we were,” they repeated hesitantly as their friend dragged them off the quad.

Laura watched the two leave with raised eyebrows. “Well, that was weird,” she commented before shrugging and turning back to her girlfriend. “But you can still join if you want!”

“Actually, I was thinking that we could maybe do something else?” Lexa suggested. “Would you like to go get some ice cream?”

The words had barely left Lexa’s mouth before Laura was scrambling out of her seat. “Is that even a question? Of course I do.”

Lexa’s grin grew wider as she gathered Laura’s books, cradling them loosely under one arm and holding out her hand. Laura gladly took the outstretched hand in hers, but tugged on it to bring Lexa closer.

“Hold on.” She sidled up to Lexa, who was fixing her with a puzzled expression. “Hi,” Laura murmured, getting on her toes to press her lips against her girlfriend’s.

“… Hi,” Lexa echoed once Laura pulled away.

Laura giggled and tapped on Lexa’s chest with one last grin. “Okay, we can go now!”

//

“All right, what’s up?” Laura finally asked.

Aside from ordering the ice cream, Lexa hadn’t said a thing since the drive over to Sugar, Spice, and Everything Ice. As reserved as she could be sometimes, Lexa wasn’t usually quite this withholding. Especially with Laura.

And she wasn’t even eating her ice cream, which Laura couldn’t help but notice. In fact, Laura’s eyes might have been darting over to the melting dessert ever since she had finished her own a few minutes earlier. But since it was infinitely more polite to stare at an object of desire instead of asking for it, Laura did just that.

Thankfully, and to Laura’s great delight, her girlfriend just pushed the cup over without a word. Laura _mm-_ ed in appreciation, eagerly digging into the second helping. “Why’d you get chocolate syrup anyway? You don’t even like chocolate.”

“I knew you wanted another scoop, but wouldn’t order it because I was paying.”

Perfect girlfriend was perfect.

“Okay, but still,” Laura said between spoonfuls of French vanilla. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s about Clarke.”

The spoon halted on its way to Laura’s mouth.

“I’m worried about her,” Lexa continued. Her eyes were guarded, focused intently on the picnic table, as her finger slowly traced squiggly shapes into the wooden surface.

Laura carefully lowered the spoon and couldn’t think of anything to say besides, “Me too.”

“I think…” Lexa paused, folding her hands together as she considered her next words, “Clarke’s a very sensitive person. She feels a lot, but she does not share much.”

… which sounded a lot more like a projection to Laura than anything else, but that was neither here or there. Laura wasn’t exactly a psych major and, obviously, neither was her girlfriend. 

“There’s not much we can do, Lexa, unless she reaches out to us first…”

Sure, there was an alarming contrast between the laid-back friend who had offered Laura a free hot chocolate and the sobbing mess Lexa had to carry all the way home, but Clarke was refusing to acknowledge this latter side for a reason. And Laura didn’t intend on dragging out the ugly into a sobering spotlight before Clarke was ready.

Lexa’s jaw clenched, her brow knitting tightly together, and Laura had to reach out with gentle fingers to smooth out the wrinkles.

“Hey… What happened at Polis?” Laura asked in a soft voice. 

Although she had a vague understanding of the events from that night, Laura hadn’t managed to ascertain any of the specifics. Raven refused to answer beyond “epic badness” before hastily changing the subject, Octavia just insisted that it wasn’t her story to tell, and of course asking Clarke herself was absolutely out of the question.

Which left her with Lexa, and maybe Laura was avoiding this particular subject with her on purpose.

Until now, that is.

Not that Lexa herself brought up the subject either.

Well, until _now,_ that is…

Lexa’s posture instantly straightened at Laura’s question, her guard back up in full force. “I was not watching as closely as I should have,” she said, her voice even and controlled, but Laura saw right through the now familiar performance.

“But that’s not your job, Lexa,” she said as gently as she could. “We’d be the first people Clarke came to if she ever seriously needed help.”

“… I hope so.”

Laura sighed, running a hand through her blonde hair, and she knew she was probably going to regret this. “Okay, okay… I’ll bother Clarke tonight and see if she wants to open up.”

The mood lifted right away as Lexa’s eyes brightened. “Thank you, Laura! That would be most wonderful.”

“It’s not going to work…”

“But you’ll try.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Laura said absentmindedly, turning back to the ice cream.

Lexa casually drummed her fingertips on the table as she watched her girlfriend dig back in. “So… how’s the ice cream?”

“You want some, don’t you?”

Lexa just smiled.

Rolling her eyes, Laura managed to scrounge up one last mouthful of vanilla with her spoon. “All right, there’s actually not that—” but the rest was muffled into Lexa’s mouth when the brunette leaned in and kissed Laura without warning. It was over almost as soon as it began, but Laura was still left blinking at her girlfriend in a surprised daze. So, Lexa just took Laura’s hand in hers and helped the spoon complete its journey to her mouth, polishing off the last of the ice cream with a small grin.

Lexa then planted a cold kiss on Laura’s knuckles. “I think it tastes better like this.”

“Who said you could stop?” Laura asked as she scooted closer to her girlfriend. She cupped Lexa’s face with both hands, pulling her into another kiss, and Lexa happily returned the gesture with a kiss of her own.

And at Laura’s insistence, the couple didn’t pull away from each other until long after the sweet taste of vanilla had faded from both their tongues.

//

**Laura [8:12 PM]  
** Hey, I’m in dire need of a netflix marathon. Wanna give Lost Girl another shot?

**Clarke-nado [8:14 PM]  
** LOL I would… but I actually have some people over right now.

**Clarke-nado [8:14 PM]  
** But of course you’re more than welcome to crash

**Laura [8:15 PM]  
** Are you sure lol? I don’t wanna intrude!

 **Clarke-nado [8:17 PM]  
** Naw! Mi casa es su casa para siempre (or something?) but I must warn you… Danny’s here…

 

Clarke then sent a bunch of side-eye emojis.

Laura groaned to herself, dragging a hand down her face. But unfortunately she had promised Lexa—multiple times, in fact, because Lexa was quite adamant—that she’d try talking to Clarke _tonight,_ so…

“The things I do for love,” Laura muttered under her breath in her best imitation of a cowardly cartoon dog.

 

**Laura [8:19 PM]  
** lol that’s totally fine. Leaving now!

//

This wasn’t awkward.

Laura was just sitting on the ground by Clarke’s feet because she wanted to be closer to them. Not because the only other available seat was right next to her tall, red-headed ex who might or might not have been shooting somewhat (oh, _definitely)_ resentful glances at Laura since her arrival.

Not. Awkward.

“Will you miss me when I’m gone?” Octavia cooed, brushing her fingertips lightly over her boyfriend’s shaved head.

“Of course I will,” Lincoln answered gruffly, “but also, I have a huge project due in a week, so your tournament actually works in my favor…” He waggled his eyebrows at his girlfriend, earning himself a playful smack to the shoulder. Lincoln feigned injury, pressing a hand to his shoulder with a small pout, which prompted Octavia to feign concern and kiss the supposedly afflicted area.

“Better?”

“Much.”

Everyone else in the room groaned as the couple shared a long, drawn-out kiss.

Clarke whipped a couch cushion at them—Lincoln easily deflecting it with a kick—as she declared, “You two are worse than Laura and Lexa.”

“Oh, please,” Laura protested, gesturing at the fawning duo with her beer bottle, “we’re not _that_ bad…”

Clarke leaned over to ruffle her friend’s hair affectionately. “Yup, keep telling yourself that.” Laura swatted the hand away, eyes narrowed while she fixed her hair.

“Where _is_ Woods anyway?” Danny asked, her tone probably not as casual as she had intended.

“Lex has a lot of work to do before we leave for nationals,” Clarke explained. She drank the rest of her beer in one swallow. “You know how she likes getting things done _way_ ahead of time.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it’s annoying.”

“It really is.”

“Like, way to make everyone else look terrible in comparison, right?”

Kirsch piped up from his spot next to Danny. “That’s probably why Scary Hottie’s set on making her the Commander next year!”

“It’s _Captain,_ Kirsch,” Octavia corrected with a laugh. “And, also, stop calling Anya that.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Kirsch gulped down some of his drink as he sneaked a peek at Danny, who was now positively fuming. 

“I still call bullshit on that,” she said, her hand tightening around her wineglass so hard that Laura feared for its safety. “Just because they went to the same high school or whatever? That’s not fair. Woods won’t even _be_ a senior next year!”

Clarke leaned over with a quirked eyebrow. “Well, who do _you_ think would be better then?” she asked cooly. Danny just scowled and sipped at her merlot, prompting Octavia to cut in with a bright smile.

“So, Laura! Clarke tells me that you’ve landed a summer internship?”

“Well, I haven’t actually accepted yet,” Laura answered, shrugging. “Really, I only applied to make my dad happy.”

Lincoln gave her a thoughtful nod. “Gotta please the ‘rents, huh?”

“Yup. Exactly.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Clarke murmured before grabbing her and Laura’s now empty beer bottles. “You want another, Laur?” she called over her shoulder, walking towards the kitchen. “I think there’s one more bottle left. We can split it if you want.”

When Laura had first arrived at the apartment, she gladly accepted the offer of alcohol (though she wanted something a lot stronger than beer upon seeing Danny’s disapproving frown), but as much as Laura would have loved to continue drinking, that’s not why she was here.

Or rather, that’s _exactly_ why she was here…

“No, I’m fine.”

“Cool, more for me,” Clarke said, popping off the bottle cap.

“You sure _you_ want another though?”

Clarke fixed Laura with an amused expression before taking a sip. “All right. Mom.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Laura said hastily, feeling an uncomfortable heat prickle up her neck. Was everyone looking at her? It kinda felt like everyone was looking at her. “It’s just a school night, so…”

“Wow, okay, Laura. I think I can handle myself.”

“Like you handled yourself at Polis?” Danny quipped, her smile smug as ever.

Clarke threw up a hand and shot everyone a dirty look. “Seriously? Are we _really_ having this conversation right now?”

But before anyone could do more than look up at the ceiling or fake a cough, the front door swung open and Carmilla and Murphy strode in—all black leather and glower.

“Oh, we got company,” Carmilla deadpanned, dropping her keys onto the kitchen counter. “Joy.”

Murphy just nodded at the various greetings and acknowledgements tossed his way before ducking into Carmilla’s room, while Carmilla herself walked over to her girlfriend and extracted the beer from her hand. 

She took a long drink from the bottle. “Tell your pal, Harriet Houdini, that she needs to fix our door. It’s still not shutting all the way.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose in distaste. “You smell like cigarettes.”

“I didn’t smoke.” Carmilla leaned in for a kiss as proof.

“You still smell…”

“So I’ll shower before bed,” Carmilla sighed, taking another drink. She lazily turned around to survey the guests, her eyes roaming until they landed on Laura.

Laura held her breath as Carmilla held her gaze with bored eyes. The casual conversation around them blended seamlessly with the background until all Laura could hear was the sound of her own pulse echoing in her ears. Eventually, Carmilla blinked and looked away, and the world slowly came back into focus. 

And everybody was talking about lacrosse again.

Oh, right.

The NCAA Championships were coming up soon, which meant that the Grounders were all leaving in a few days for whichever city was hosting the competition this year. It also meant that Clarke and Lexa would be out of town for little over a week.

With one last sigh, Carmilla pushed off the counter and held the bottle up at Clarke. “I’m taking this,” she drawled, walking to her room without a glance back. “Let me know when they leave.”

Her door clicked shut, and moments later, heavy metal was blaring through the walls. 

Yup.

Not awkward at all.

// 

No one stayed long after that

They all conjured up suitable excuses to attach to their goodbyes before heading off into the night. And, yes, the rain was indeed coming down pretty hard and, okay, it was also starting to get kinda late, but Laura insisted on walking home. She even refused the umbrella Clarke offered her for some reason that definitely made more sense when Laura wasn’t wet and shivering still quite a ways from home.

When Laura reached the intersection between campus and off-campus housing, she turned towards the latter after a brief moment of consideration.

As per usual, the door to Lafontaine and Raven’s place was unlocked, but Laura definitely pushed on it way harder than necessary. She was certain of this because the door flung open with a resounding bang, startling a pajama-clad Raven who almost dropped her bowl of Froot Loops in surprise.

“Is Lexa with you?” Raven asked, spoon dangling precariously from her mouth.

Laura shook her head, barely keeping her teeth from chattering, arms wrapped tightly around herself. Raven’s shoulders dropped in immediate relief. She sank back into the couch, her feet propped on the coffee table, and yelled, “Then, _Jesus,_ Laura! Close the fuckin’ door! It’s _raining!”_

“Is someone here?” Lafontaine walked into the living room with a yawn. Their mouth snapped shut upon seeing Laura’s still trembling form. “Frosh! You crazy? You’re compromising your immune system!” They hurriedly shoved Laura into the bathroom with a clean towel and a set of dry clothes.

Once she had dry(er) hair and an oversized Bio Team t-shirt on, the shivering finally ceased and Laura felt more like herself again.

“So, what’s up?” Lafontaine pushed a mug of hot cocoa into Laura’s hands. “Felt like dying of pneumonia with only four weeks of classes left?” they teased.

“Or getting _wet?”_ Raven called out from her room with a loud cackle.

Laura squeezed the mug, trying to draw some comfort from the warm drink. It almost worked. “Laf, I think I might be… No.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I know... that I’m a terrible person…”

Lafontaine’s lips curved into a deep frown as they quietly watched Laura sip at her hot cocoa. Once the mug was empty, they took Laura by the hand and led her into their bedroom where the two wordlessly climbed into bed together. Lafontaine pulled Laura in close, their arms settling around her smaller frame.

“Are you okay?”

Laura just shrugged, so Lafontaine called Raven into the room as well.

“‘Sup?” Raven asked, padding into the room. She glanced at the spooning pair and didn’t bat an eye.

“We need a cuddle puddle,” Lafontaine explained shortly.

Raven kicked off her slippers without further comment and hopped onto the bed. “I’m a small spoon,” she announced before taking Laura’s hands in hers and forcing the smaller girl’s arms around her.

They laid together in silence until Laura finally sighed, “What am I gonna do without you two next year?”

“You’ll be fine, frosh. You still got Clarke. And Octavia. And Lexa.”

"Besides,” Raven added, “Carmilla’s graduating too, so you won’t have to deal with her sociopathic ass anymore, and who knows? Maybe she and Clarke will finally break up!”

Laura tried not to fidget too noticeably and Lafontaine gave her an understanding squeeze.

“Can’t you—oh, I don’t know—purposefully flunk a class and stay another year or something? You’re already halfway there with anthropology!”

Raven snorted. “Yeah, well, KMT might not appreciate that too much, so…” There was a loud gasp, and before Raven knew it, she was being yanked around to face Laura.

“Wait, you got the job?”

Lafontaine reached over Laura to poke at Raven’s shoulder. “You brought it up, Rae. Might as well just tell her.” Laura nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

“Fine…” Raven sighed, rolling her eyes. “But let me just preface this by saying that I only kept this to myself because I was waiting for our next family dinner. So I could, you know, break the news to everyone at the same time.”

“Well, _I_ knew,” Lafontaine said smugly.

“Yeah, _they_ knew, but that’s only because they were there when I got the phone call.” Raven chuckled, shoving Lafontaine’s hand away when they tried to punch her shoulder. Laura had to swat at both of their hands before they stopped play-fighting.

“Anyway,” Laf continued, collapsing back onto the bed, “I was made to promise that I wouldn’t tell anyone. Not even Perry. So, feel special, frosh.”

Laura nodded again, her eyes wide with excitement, and Raven rolled her eyes one last time before launching into her explanation.

“Okay… so, as you know, I applied to Kass Morgan Tech a few months ago. Totes aced all the phone interviews _and_ the in-person interview because I’m fucking amazing. Obviously.”

"Obviously,” Lafontaine echoed.

Raven grinned. “Anyway, I got the call this morning and apparently they were really impressed with my resumé and recommendations—turns out Kane actually kinda _likes_ me? Who knew!—so when I graduate this coming May…” She raised her hands nonchalantly. “I’ll have a job lined up. Just waiting for me.” Then Raven braced herself for the hug she knew was coming, but the wind was still knocked out of her by her small, vibrating friend.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” Laura squealed, practically into Raven’s ear. “Congratulations! I am _so_ proud of you! But, also, I knew you could do it! Because you’re so smart and beautiful and amazing and a really awesome friend and— ”

“ _Breathe_ , frosh,” Lafontaine said in a soothing voice. They gently tugged at Laura’s hands, getting her to relax the death-grip she had on Raven. “Also, those were probably _not_ the qualities KMT was looking for during their recruitment process…”

“But good to hear, nonetheless,” Raven finished with a laugh. She turned back around and snapped her fingers insistently until Laura spooned her again. “But it’s just an entry-level position. So, it’s mostly gonna be job training, maybe some data entry, and lots of other boring shit.”

“But it’s a job! An honest-to-goodness real adult job.” Laura’s head dropped heavily onto her pillow. “Holy Hufflepuff… You’re an adult now. My friends are _adults_. I’m _friends_ with _adults_ … Oh my God, does that mean that _I'm_ an adult too?”

Right away, Lafontaine and Raven interjected with a loud _Nope_ in unison.

Laura rolled her eyes. “In any case, I’m happy for you, Rae. You deserve this.”

“Yeah, if you say so.”

“So…” Laura said, drawing out the syllable in a playful tone, “Can I please, please, please crash here tonight?”

Lafontaine scoffed. “Duh.”

“Yay! Do you have a spare toothbrush I can use?”

“Just use Laf’s,” Raven said with a yawn. “That’s what I do when I’m feeling lazy.”

“Yeah… Wait, you do _what?”_

Laura covered her face with a hand.

Sleep was definitely not in her near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that was a whole lot of information without a single moment of sin, but I tried to make it as interesting as possible anyway.
> 
> I'm also already working on the next chapter, and any comments will be much appreciated. 
> 
> They fuel me. 
> 
> I crave your attention. 
> 
> Tell me what you loved, hated, wished I had never written or thought of, etc...
> 
> Besides, it was my birthday a couple of days ago, so don't you wanna be extra nice to me? (:  
> No? That's fine. Be mean to me in the comments then 'cause I like that too (;


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. 
> 
> For three reasons in particular: 1) This took a lot longer than I thought it would because I kept rewriting certain scenes, 2) It's almost 5AM, so proofreading is definitely less than adequate, and 3) ... Well, you'll have to read to find out the third reason.

**** “I love you.”

Laura rolled over in bed, a broad smile already breaking over her face. This was _not_ how she was expecting the morning to go.

Not that she was complaining.

“Oh, do you now?”

“… Yes,” came the shy reply.

Laura giggled. “I _knew_ that already.”

“You… did?”

“Duh, silly,” Laura said, rolling her eyes playfully. “You’re not exactly the best at hiding how you feel. Especially with me.” Then, in a softer tone, “And… I love you too.”

“You do?”

_“Yes_ , Lexa…” Laura cradled her girlfriend’s face with gentle hands as she spoke. Lexa leaned into the touch gratefully, her lips pressing into Laura’s palm. “Of course I do.”

//

**Laura [12:03 PM]  
** IT HAPPENED!!!!

**Laf Out Loud [12:04 PM]  
** … It did?

**RavenClaw [12:04 PM]  
** congrats laur

**RavenClaw [12:04 PM]  
** i guess

**Laura [12:05 PM]  
** WITH LEXA!!!!!!!

**RavenClaw [12:06 PM]  
** um…

 **RavenClaw [12:06 PM]  
** didnt u pop that ages ago tho

**Laf Out Loud [12:07 PM]  
** L O L

**Laura [12:09 PM]  
** Omg, don’t be so gross!!

**Laura [12:10 PM]  
** We said “I love you” to each other ~ ❤︎

 **RavenClaw [12:10 PM]  
** and this is news?????

**Laf Out Loud [12:10 PM]  
** Hahaha, I’m happy for ya, frosh! :D

**RavenClaw [12:12 PM]  
** wtf how dare u waste my time w/ this

**RavenClaw [12:12 PM]  
** i was NAPPIINGGG!!!

 

Scoffing to herself, Laura threw her still vibrating phone onto the bed. When the phone refused to stop _bzzt!-_ ing in rapid succession, she turned up the music, relying on Taylor Swift’s latest single to drown out the alerts. It didn’t feel like anything could spoil her current good mood, but she wasn’t about to take any chances either.

Especially since her mind kept wandering back to the people she had deliberately left out of the group text.

Her dad of course was an immediate _No_ , which was an easy decision because he was her dad.

Perry too was an immediate _No_ , but only because she hardly ever checked her phone in the first place. Besides, Lafontaine could get the news to her faster than Laura herself ever could, so that was an easy decision too.

And though it pained her to do it, Laura had to exclude Octavia from the conversation as well. She was a great friend and Laura liked her just fine, but their relationship had changed ever since Octavia joined the Summer Society. And since Laura would never ask her to choose between her sisters (i.e. Danny) and her friends (i.e. Laura), that was a semi-easy decision.

Then, there was Clarke.

Things were still kinda weird between them. It didn’t help that the last time they spoke, Laura was running out into the pouring rain just to escape further awkwardness. So, that was a somewhat easy decision, though a little hard on her heart.

As for anyone else Laura usually texted… Well, that wouldn’t have worked out for many reasons, so she buried those thoughts before they had the chance to take shape.

(She wasn’t answering Laura’s texts anyway.)

After reading through her Modernism paper twice and grudgingly deeming it adequate, Laura rewarded herself with a few episodes of Lost Girl—which thankfully wasn’t as awful as she had remembered—and Tumblr. When she eventually checked her phone again, Laura found more than 20 messages’ worth of angry all-caps commentary courtesy of Raven.

But there was also one text that didn’t make her want to roll her eyes:

 

**❤︎ LEXA ❤︎ [2:23 PM]  
** Would you like to stay over this Saturday?

 

As if anything could keep Laura from spending the night with her girlfriend the day before she left town…

 

**Laura [5:06 PM]  
** I would love to, babe ❤︎ ❤︎

**❤︎ LEXA ❤︎ [5:10 PM]  
** :)

//

Grinning from ear to ear, Laura waved at her girlfriend from the window as the bus hissed to a stop. Hastily throwing a _Thank you_ over to the driver, she hopped off the bus and right into Lexa’s arms.

“I missed you!” Laura exclaimed, as Lexa set her gently on the ground.

“You did?” Lexa smiled at her girlfriend’s enthusiastic nods, taking her overnight bag with one hand while holding out the other. Laura gladly took Lexa’s hand in hers. “But we just saw each other the other day.”

“Are you saying you didn’t miss me?”

Lexa promptly squeezed Laura’s hand, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles. “No, I’m definitely not saying that.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Laura said smugly. She tugged on Lexa’s arm, leading the way to her flat. “Hey, remember that time you ran all the way to my place in under ten minutes?”

“Yes…”

Laura batted her eyes innocently. “Why’d you do that again?”

“Because I’m extra?”

“Because you’re extra,” Laura agreed, snuggling up to her girlfriend.

They walked the rest of the way in relative silence and smiles, hand in hand, arms swinging all the way home.

//

When they arrived at Lexa’s flat, the first thing that came out of her mouth was an apology.

“You must excuse the disorder, Laura. Packing has taken an unfortunate toll on my living room…”

Laura just shook her head as she glanced around the room because it was immaculately put together as always. The only difference was Lexa’s suitcase, which was zipped up and conveniently out of the way sitting in the corner. “If this is messy to you, I’d hate to see what you think clean looks like.”

“Obviously, there’s always room for improvement.”

“Right. Obviously,” Laura teased. She plopped onto the couch, hands outstretched for her bag. “I brought some homework with me. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course. I’ll get started on dinner.” Lexa kissed the top of Laura’s head before disappearing into the kitchen.

Laura really should stay over more often…

//

“Okay, so _basically_ , you want me to cat-sit for you…”

Laura was lounging at the dinner table, hunger sufficiently sated, watching her girlfriend do the dishes. Of course, she had offered to do them like she usually did, but of course Lexa had turned down the offer like _she_ usually did.

“It’s not cat-sitting per se,” Lexa clarified, scrubbing at a stubborn patch of teriyaki sauce. “You’ll have to leave out a bowl of cat food for Luna once or twice a day is all.”

“Okay, so basically, you want me to feed the stray cat that sometimes hangs out in your backyard for you…”

Lexa nodded. “Normally, I would ask Lincoln, but he’s driving up mid-week to surprise Octavia at the competition.”

“He is?”

Another nod.

“Oh, wow,” Laura said, sitting back in her chair. “Now I feel like a poop girlfriend… Should I have planned some grand romantic gesture like that?”

Lexa shot Laura a warm smile over her shoulder. “No, of course not, Laura.” She turned back to the sink with an easy shrug. “Plus, this way, you’ll be free to feed Luna.”

“And _that’s_ why we don’t name stray animals,” Laura muttered, rolling her eyes, “but, sure… I can feed your little stray kitty-cat friend. Anything else?”

“Actually, if you could water the plants sometime before Thursday, that’d be wonderful too…”

Laura laughed. “Done and _done_.”

“Thank you, Laura. I really appreciate it.” Lexa didn’t turn around this time, but the bright smile was evident in her voice.

Her girlfriend… Adorable as always.

After a few moments of quiet musing, Laura approached her girlfriend at the sink with a mischievous grin. Pressing her body firmly into Lexa’s, Laura left a trail of little kisses down the back of her neck.

Lexa hummed at the contact, leaning back into the touch, so Laura decided to raise the stakes. She reached underneath the apron and began unbuttoning Lexa’s shirt from the bottom up.

“Laura…” It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t quite a warning either.

“Lexa,” Laura returned, copying her exact tone. Once the very top button was undone, Laura ran her hands down the newly exposed skin, fingertips tracing the contours carved into Lexa’s stomach.

“What are you doing?”

Laura smirked because she immediately recognized the subtle tremor in Lexa’s voice and hands. “Oh, just thinking of ways you can pay me back. You know, for being a glorified cat-sitter and all…”

Lexa chuckled at that. “Laura, you’re not just…” but then Laura was unbuckling her belt, so the rest of the sentence came out in a rushed exhale, “… _just a cat-sitter_ …”

“No?” Laura kept her tone light and casual, as if her hands weren’t unzipping her girlfriend’s pants. “Am I special or something?”

“… _Yes._ ” The reply was strained, but Lexa somehow managed to keep washing the dishes—albeit a little jerkily—for the time being. That is, until Laura’s hand slipped past the waistband of her boxers.

Lexa’s entire body stiffened, her hands now clutching at the edge of the sink.

“You shouldn’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“ _That,_ ” Lexa said, punctuated with a small yet sharp intake of breath. “I can’t focus on the dishes… if you’re doing _that._ ”

“I don’t think you want to do the dishes anymore, Lexa.”

Lexa’s grip on the sink tightened considerably, and thanks to the rolled-up sleeves, Laura was privy to a great view of her forearms in action.

Her girlfriend… Sexy as always.

Laura considered making a dumb joke about the importance of saving water, but by then, Lexa was already shutting off the taps. Then the next thing Laura knew, she was being thrown unceremoniously over Lexa’s shoulder. Her squeal of surprise quickly dissolved into giggles as Lexa carried her out of the kitchen, shedding clothes and in search of the most suitable flat surface.

// 

Seven in the morning the next day, the Grounders were loading their luggage onto the team bus and Laura was trying her hardest not to yawn.

“How are you holding up there, Laura?”

She let her head drop into Lexa’s chest with a groan. “Sleepy…”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said, her voice soft and sincere. She ran her fingers through Laura’s hair, eliciting an appreciative hum. “You didn’t have to come see me off.”

“But I’m going to miss you,” Laura mumbled into Lexa’s shirt. She breathed deep, taking in the familiar smell of pine-fresh detergent and girlfriend. “I can’t believe I’m gonna be stuck here at Silas while you’re off partying in New York…”

Lexa chuckled. “Laura, I’m going to _Syracuse_ , which I assure you is a far cry from what you’re probably imagining.”

“Okay, it may not be _the_ New York City, but it is _a_ New York city.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Lexa said with a small smile.

“Either way, you won’t be here, so I’m totally allowed to miss you.”

Lexa gently lifted Laura’s chin. “And I’ll miss you too.” She leaned in for a kiss, which Laura promptly deepened, hands cupping Lexa’s face. A chorus of raucous whoops and wolf-whistles erupted around the couple, illustrating their lack of privacy.

They broke off the kiss with matching red cheeks and sheepish grins, slightly ducking their heads to evade further ridicule.

_“Get it, Woods!”_ called out a random Grounder.

Lexa frowned. “Ignore them,” she said, wrapping a protective arm around Laura’s shoulders. It took two more kisses from her giggling girlfriend before her brow un-furrowed.

“All right, you guys, she’s not going off to war,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes as she walked by. “You’ll be reunited before you know it…” She heaved her duffel bag onto the bus before striking up a conversation with some teammates Laura didn’t know.

“Actually, we’ll be back even sooner if we lose to Mt. Weather again,” Octavia said, her voice muffled into her suitcase / makeshift pillow, “which is totally possible…”

Danny barked out a laugh. “Yeah, _that’s_ the spirit, Blake,” she said, nudging at the prone girl with a foot.

“What? I’m just being honest.” Octavia waved away her boyfriend who was trying to elbow her subtly. “Last year, we didn’t even make it to the semi-finals, and then some of our best players graduated. I mean, you gotta admit that losing Indra alone…”

Danny interrupted her with a loud, fake cough. Everyone turned to follow her pointed gaze and saw Anya’s car pulling up into the parking lot. A hush came over the crowd as more and more people noticed the arrival.

“And next year, we won’t even have _Anya_ ,” Octavia hissed while she still could, “so good luck with _that_ , Lexa.” She glanced at Danny before hastily adding, “Or whoever’s gonna be Team Captain next year…”

As soon as Anya emerged from her car, every Grounder stood a bit straighter under her unimpressed gaze. Even Octavia got to her feet.

“Woods.”

“Yes, Captain?” Lexa’s hand shot out, deftly catching the clipboard tossed her way.

“Make sure everyone’s here, then call anyone who isn’t.”

Lexa promptly jogged towards the bus, navigating between yawning girls, and began calling out last names. She clapped a hand on Clarke’s shoulder as she ran past, startling a couple of laughs out of the blonde. Clarke looked over, her gaze following Lexa, and accidentally matched eyes with Laura. They traded half-smiles and small nods of acknowledgement before Clarke made her way over.

“Hey, guys.”

The group fell into their familiar pattern, exchanging the usual pleasantries and jokes, and Laura could almost pretend that everything was back to normal. Until Octavia decided to ruin everything.

“So… I guess I should start putting my stuff away, huh? Don’t want the Cap getting on my ass.” She nudged at Lincoln, who sprang into action at once. “Come on, babe. Let’s go.” Octavia turned to Danny. “Hey, Lawrence, wanna come help us out with the bags?”

Danny shot her a puzzled look. “Why?” She gestured at Lincoln already balancing both of Octavia’s bags on his shoulders. “I think you got it covered.”

“Yeah, but…” Octavia trailed off, opting to drag Danny away in lieu of finishing the explanation.

Which left Laura and Clarke alone together.

Of course.

“Real subtle, huh?” Clarke said, once the trio was out of earshot.

“That’s our friends for ya.” Laura sighed, shoving her hands deep into her pockets. “So… no weepy goodbyes with the girlfriend, huh?”

Clarke snorted. “As if.” She checked her watch. “Carmilla won’t be up for another four hours at least. Girl’s practically a vampire.”

“Lucky girl. Lexa set the alarm for 5:30. We actually got here before the bus did.”

“Of course you did,” Clarke said with a laugh. “Typical Lexa…”

There was a pause as the two girls glanced around, searching for reasons to avoid eye contact. A few heads abruptly turned away when they looked, once again demonstrating the lack of privacy found at public parking lots. 

Laura awkwardly kicked at the gravel. “Hey, are we okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” But Clarke was fussing with the hem of her shirt with nervous fingers.

“I guess there isn’t really a reason…”

They stood in silence again until Clarke released a long breath. “Laura, I know you’re worried about me or whatever, but I swear I’m going to be all right… I just have a lot going on right now.”

Laura nodded, lips pressed together. “No, I get that. Just… know that I’m here if you ever need to talk. Or anything really. All you gotta do is ask.”

“Yeah, I know,” Clarke said. She gave a light punch to Laura’s arm. “How about I buy you a cup of coffee when we get back? To catch up and stuff.”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.”

They settled back into an easier conversation, only bringing up topics they were 100% comfortable with. And though the tension in the air had lifted significantly, Clarke looked about as relieved as Laura felt when Lexa eventually joined them with a smile.

Clarke slung an arm around Lexa’s neck and pulled her close. “This one’s the one you _really_ need to worry about, Laur. Crazy party animal.”

“Right.” Laura rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should both just keep an eye on each other.”

“You hear that, Woods? Your girl doesn’t trust you.”

Lexa shrugged off the arm with a grunt. “We’ll see who watches after whom once we get there.”

“Whom.” Clarke raised her eyebrows at Laura. “ _Whom_ , Laura.” She laughed, giving Lexa a push towards her girlfriend. “Come on, killer. Kiss your girl goodbye. I’ll save ya a seat.” And with one last nod, Clarke headed back to the bus, yanking Octavia off Lincoln on the way.

Laura pouted at Lexa. “You should go too.”

“I should.”

“And I’m still going to miss you…”

“And I, you. But I promise to call and text regularly.”

“You. Better.” Laura emphasized each word with a poke to Lexa’s chest. Then, she gave a few more pokes for good measure, stopping only when Lexa closed a hand around her pointer finger.

Lexa brought the finger to her lips for a small kiss. “I love you,” she said softly.

A slow smile crept over Laura’s face as she leaned in close. “Stay safe, babe, okay? And…”

_Honk! Honk! Ho-o-o-o-onk!_

Lexa was now the only Grounder who had yet to board the bus, and Anya was shooting her irritated looks from the window. Laura leaned up for a quick goodbye kiss, then whispered in Lexa’s ear, “I love you too, babe.” The bright grin Lexa eagerly pressed into Laura’s lips was worth it.

Lexa squeezed Laura’s hands in hers and took off running.

“Bye, Lex,” Lincoln yelled as she ran past.

“See you soon,” she called back, and he shot her a wink.

Laura, Lincoln, and a few of the other significant others stayed behind to watch the bus leave, waving and blowing kisses until it was out of sight.

“All right, L.H., where am I dropping you off?” Lincoln asked, swinging his keys as they approached his car.

“ _Home._ ” Laura finally gave into the yawn she had been fighting off since daybreak. “I still have a couple of hours before lunch time.”

Lincoln stifled a big yawn of his own. “You got it.”

//

“Hey…”

Although Laura had spoken as softly as she could, her greeting seemed to expand, filling out the empty space.

Well, almost empty.

Carmilla froze at the sound of Laura’s voice, hands faltering in their task, but ultimately did not turn around. Instead, she grabbed the last of the abandoned books off a study table, piling them neatly onto her library cart.

Laura rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Carm. Are you _really_ going to ignore me right now?”

But apparently she was because she just moved onto the next table, where a particularly lazy student (or students) had left behind about 40 different biographies on Kant. So, Laura opted for a different approach.

“Hey, remember the first time I met you here? When you were working?”

This time, there was no hesitation, but Laura noted that Carmilla was clutching the books so hard that her knuckles were beginning to pale. 

“And you pushed me up against that shelf and—”

A loud slam cut Laura off as Carmilla dropped a stack of philosophy textbooks back onto the table. She slowly turned around to face Laura with weary yet piercing eyes. “What do you want, Laura?”

“I want you to talk to me,” Laura said. She took a cautious step towards Carmilla. “You haven’t tried to contact me at all lately…”

“Neither have you.”

Laura scoffed. “Yeah, because you totally ignored my last five texts!” She took a deep breath to soften her tone, “Anyway, I’m here now, aren’t I? Actually making an effort to see you in person…”

“Yeah, while I’m _working_.”

“Well, I figured you wouldn’t miss a shift no matter how grumpy of a mood you were in.”

“All right, fine, cupcake,” Carmilla sighed, running a hand through her dark hair. “You got me. What’s gotten your little pink boyshorts in a bunch?”

Laura’s nose wrinkled, but she refused to back down. “So, Clarke and Lexa have been gone for a few days now…”

“Yes. I’m aware. So?” Carmilla’s clipped tone betrayed no emotion.

“ _So_ …?” Laura raised her hands in frustration. “So why haven’t you… _you know!”_ She tried to elaborate with an aimless gesture.

Carmilla’s eyes darkened. “Why haven’t I… _what?”_ she demanded. “Hit you up for a booty call? Why haven’t I tried to _fuck_ you yet? Is that it?”

“Don’t be so crass…”

“Why not? It seems like that’s all you’re expecting from me anyway.”

Laura shook her head in disbelief. “No, I didn’t mean it like that!” She covered her face with a groan. “I’ve just… gotten used to having you around, okay?”

“You have a _girlfriend_ , Laura.”

“So do you,” Laura shot back. She chanced another step forward.

“It’s different,” Carmilla automatically said, dropping her gaze to the floor, fists pressed against her forehead.

Laura took one last step and Carmilla was within arm’s reach. “How?”

“It just _is_ ,” Carmilla muttered.

With a sigh, Laura gently took Carmilla’s hands in hers, drawing them away from her face. Carmilla tried to pull away with a soft _Don’t_ , but Laura held fast and tugged the girl back towards her.

Their eyes met once again, but Laura didn't recognize the vulnerability staring back at her. She hesitated, wavering between pulling Carmilla in closer and finally letting her go.

“Carm…”

“Look, if I promise to come see you tonight, will you please just leave me alone right now?”

Laura’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she nodded without a word. She relaxed her grip, letting Carmilla’s wrists slip out of her hands.

“Fine, I’ll see you then,” Carmilla said, returning to her book cart. “Where am I meeting you?”

“Lexa’s place.”

Carmilla looked up at Laura, again with that unfamiliar expression.

“You got it, cupcake.”

 

* * *

 

Yes, her foot was tapping insistently and incessantly, but Laura was never that great at waiting in lines. Plus, she didn’t even know if this was the right place because Carmilla wasn’t very liberal with the details:

 

**Carmander [11:35 AM]  
** I have a shift at the library from 2 to 4:30pm today.

**Laura [11:42 AM]  
** Okay! So you want me to meet you there?

**Carmander [11:58 AM]  
** If you want.

**Laura [1:07 PM]  
** Where should I meet you?

**Carmander [1:20 PM]  
** At the library.

**Laura [1:22 PM]  
** Right… Where in the library??

**Carmander [1:35 PM]  
** I’ll be around.

**Laura [1:35 PM]  
** . . . Seriously??????

 

A bright smile greeted Laura at the front desk. “Hi! Do you need help finding anything?”

“Actually, I’m looking for one of your… librarians, I guess?” Laura shrugged helplessly at the girl. “Carmilla Kar… something. Carmilla.”

The girl’s smile dulled at the mention of Carmilla. She tossed her long, platinum blonde hair over her shoulder with a sniff. “Carmilla? She’s probably shelving books at the philosophy wing.” Then, she turned back to her monitor, barely nodding at Laura’s _Thanks!_

The philosophy wing was located at the back of the library where Laura hardly ever ventured, and judging from the extreme lack of students, it was clear that not many people did. Consequently, it was pretty easy to spot Carmilla.

She had yet to notice her guest—too busy glancing through dusty books before sliding them into their proper place—so Laura took her time observing this previously unseen side of the girl.

Carmilla was dressed more conservatively than usual, undoubtedly in compliance with the library’s dress code, wearing a simple black blouse and a clean pair of jeans without any holes. Her hair was tied up in a lazy bun, a few strands of black hair falling over her grey wire-rimmed glasses, which she periodically pushed up with a careful finger.

Oh boy.

Oh _girl_.

After thinking through a couple of different greetings, Laura ultimately settled for just clearing her throat. Carmilla looked up with a start, but the characteristic indifference settled over her features before long.

“Hey,” she said, letting a book drop back on the library cart.

“Hey…”

Why did Laura feel so awkward?

This was supposed to be a pretty straightforward conversation between two people who had made out the other night. Even though the kiss might have been broken off by one of them running out the door in a panic. 

But the discomfort seemed to be contagious because Carmilla was struggling to maintain eye contact as well.

So, Laura did what she did best.

“Okay, so I know you said it wasn’t a big deal or whatever, but I don’t think it’s very fair for you to singlehandedly decide for all of us—all of us meaning only us two, of course—because that’s unfair. Did I say that already? Who cares! It _is_ unfair, which bears repeating even if I _didn’t_ repeat it. And I just don’t understand why this… thing happened? By thing, of course I mean—”

“Jesus Christ, creampuff. Take a breath before you pass out.”

“I’m sorry. I just have a lot to say!”

“Apparently,” Carmilla said, rolling her eyes. She dragged her cart into another aisle, forcing Laura to reluctantly trail after her. “So, here we are. We can talk or whatever, but I’m not going to listen to you babble.” Grabbing a few books off the cart, she added, “ _Nor_ stop working.”

Laura watched Carmilla put away two more books before asking, “You work at the library?”

“Nope,” Carmilla deadpanned. “I’m here because I want to be.”

But despite her sarcasm, there was definitely something right about Carmilla being at the library. She actually looked at home among the thick, leather-bound tomes and stuffy atmosphere. It was probably the glasses…

Why didn’t anyone warn Laura about the glasses?

“Why did you want to meet here?”

Carmilla exhaled a short laugh. “This is one of the few places that Clarke wouldn’t be caught dead in. So, it’s safe.”

Laura grabbed a book at random, flipping through the pages to keep from fidgeting, but her eyes kept drifting back to Carmilla instead. “Lexa studies at the library a lot.”

“Of course she does,” Carmilla sighed. She plucked the book from Laura’s hands and pushed it back into place on the shelf. “But I’ve never seen your Amazonian of a girlfriend around this specific wing, so I think we’re still safe.”

“It was a mistake,” Laura blurted out.

Carmilla paused at that, her hands stilling on top of the books she was rearranging. She looked up and into Laura’s wide eyes. “A mistake?” Her voice was low and husky _,_ making Laura wonder how socially unacceptable it’d be to flee the scene right then and there.

“Yes…” Laura was proud of herself for not stuttering. “It was a mistake because… we shouldn’t have done that. And I think the alcohol might have had a big hand in… that.”

“The alcohol,” Carmilla echoed with a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Yep. The alcohol.”

Carmilla approached Laura with languid, careful strides. “So, if I am to understand you correctly, you’re suggesting that we only made out… on account of the _alcohol_.”

“Right…” Laura’s voice was a lot fainter and higher in pitch than to her liking. But Carmilla was also backing her into a bookshelf until her back was pressed flat against it.

Jeez. Déjà vu much?

“So, you don’t find me attractive…”

Laura blinked. “Um… _Objectively speaking,_ well… I mean…”

Carmilla went on as if Laura hadn’t spoken. “And if I were to kiss you right now, you wouldn’t be into that…” she brushed Laura’s hair to the side, exposing her neck, “because it was just the alcohol.”

Laura’s eyes flicked down to Carmilla’s lips for the briefest of moments, but judging from the filthy smirk, her glance hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Listen, creampuff,” Carmilla drawled, tracing a finger down Laura’s cheek. “Kissing… is _just_ kissing.”

“And… making out?” Laura asked in a whisper.

Carmilla ran her thumb across Laura’s lower lip. “… is also _just_ kissing.” She was still answering when Laura closed the distance between their lips, hands bringing Carmilla’s face as close as possible to hers.

With a growl, Carmilla yanked Laura’s hands off her face, and Laura retreated right away.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have…”

But Carmilla just pressed Laura’s arms above her head, pinning them against the bookshelf, and crashed their lips together once more. Laura couldn’t bite back the moan when Carmilla’s tongue pushed into her mouth. Nor the groan of frustration when Carmilla suddenly dropped her hands, backing off without warning.

Her lips were slightly swollen, but still stretched into a smirk. “You know, for someone who’s not into me, you sure do enjoy kissing me…”

Laura worked on steadying her breaths as she tried to smooth out her shirt, which was now evidence of another inappropriate make out session.

“Or was _that_ the alcohol too?”

 

* * *

  

“What?”

Laura was admittedly a bit distracted, so she had only half-heard the low murmur, but in her defense, a really hot girl was pumping a couple of fingers deep inside her.

“I, uh…” Carmilla hesitated, pausing her movements despite the immediate sounds of protest. Laura rolled her hips, trying to remind Carmilla of her needs, but to no avail.

With a groan of frustration, Laura repeated herself, _“What?”_

“I said… _I love you._ ”

Now Laura was fully paying attention. “Oh. Carm…”

Carmilla flinched at the excessively soft tone and pulled away, making Laura wince at the sudden loss.

“Wait, Carmilla,” Laura started as she sat up.

“No, no, no.” Carmilla shook her head. “Let’s just go back to the fucking…” But she stilled once more when Laura pressed a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“It’s okay. I think we should talk about this.”

Carmilla waited, not daring to meet the other girl’s eyes.

Laura took a deep breath, running a hand through her blonde hair. This was not how she was expecting her evening to go…

“Carm,” she said, reaching out to touch the inside of Carmilla’s wrist, “… you know we can’t.” A single teardrop hit her knuckle. “Hey…”

“Yeah, I know,” Carmilla let out in one exhale, swiping at her eyes. “No big deal, cutie. I was just… I just have to go, so…”

Laura tried to stop her. She held onto Carmilla’s arm, whispering hurried apologies, but Carmilla just yanked her hand free and began gathering her clothes.

“ _Carm._ ”

“Later, Laura,” came the brusque reply as the door clicked shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry! 
> 
> As an apology, I'll leave you with a few fun facts: 
> 
> 1) The two "I love you" scenes were collectively the second thing I wrote for this story (Yeah, that's right! I've known where this was going from the very beginning!). And though I rewrote a lot of this chapter, those two scenes were practically untouched (:
> 
> 2) There are maybe 2-3 chapters left in this particular fic! 
> 
> 3) I feed off kudos & comments, so please help me with my virtual food baby. 
> 
> 4) After this fic, the next one will be from Clarke's POV. 
> 
> Peace, lovelies ~


	9. Chapter 9

“Did you know I changed your contact name on my phone?”

“Now, how on earth would I have known that, creampuff?” Carmilla drawled, but the snark was considerably softened by her lips ghosting Laura’s bare shoulder.

Grinning big, Laura leaned into Carmilla as the girl draped a loose arm around her waist.

In just three short weeks, Laura had Carmilla Karnstein down to an intimate science. Sure, it had been an exhaustive process of trial by error, but Laura found it a worthwhile endeavor. 

First things first, Carmilla was infinitely more agreeable after her first orgasm of the night.However, anything past three put her straight to sleep, so two to three orgasms was the sweet spot to shoot for. 

But Laura preferred post-three orgasm Carmilla because she was a lot more open to snuggling. Sometimes, she was even the one to initiate it.

Naked Carmilla was unquestionably hot.

Naked Carmilla with her bare skin touching Laura’s bare skin? Even hotter.

“Well, you wanna know what I changed it to?”

“Sure,” Carmilla said. Agreeably.

“Carmeleon!”

Carmilla blinked. “What was it before?”

“… _Carmander_ ,” Laura said, like it was obvious.

“And is that supposed to be an improvement?”

“Yeah, _duh_. It’s the next evolution, Carm.”

“Cupcake… Darwin’s probably turning in his grave right now. To avoid choking on his own vomit.” Carmilla smirked at Laura’s small scoff. “But you _do_ know that’s not how it works, right? Salamanders and chameleons are not even in the same class, let alone—”

Laura burst out laughing. “Did you never get into Pokémon?”

“No…” Carmilla started slowly, “I actually had a sex life, so…”

“Ugh, _no_.” Laura groaned, shoving at Carmilla’s shoulder. “Weirdo! Pokémon was big when we were in _elementary_ school, okay? Or at least Kanto was, which of course was the first and _best_ generation of Pokémon of all time.”

Carmilla quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t engage in the typical mockery.

See? Agreeable!

“Ah, well, I actually didn’t spend those years in North America,” she said at last.

“Oh, yeah? Well… Pokémon went pretty viral, so you couldn’t have avoided it no matter where you were. Even if you tried.”

“I was in Venice.”

Laura’s head snapped around, but Carmilla was avoiding her gaze, shifting uncomfortably.

“Like… in Italy?”

“That’s where Venice is, yes.”

“Wow! Well, what were you doing all the way there?”

“Attending primary school.” Carmilla’s breezy tone was severely undercut by her restless fingers tapping against the bed frame.

“Right,” Laura said with a laugh. “So, you got family there or something?”

The shuffling came to an immediate stop and Carmilla plunged them both into an uneasy silence, not even daring to breathe, as the unanswered question hovered between them.

There was no doubt that Laura had indeed learned quite a lot about Carmilla in the past month…

Laura knew just where to kiss Carmilla to best distract the girl from her favorite poems. The exact shade of black her pupils dilated into when turned on in public. How aggressive of a hair-puller she was, especially with Laura’s insistent tongue between her legs. And on one exceptionally productive night, she even proved very well-versed in French profanities…

Yet, there were still plenty of things Carmilla kept hidden in the dark, away from prying eyes and inquisitive blondes.

Fortunately, Laura was already used to this by now.

Her smile never faltered as she grabbed her phone, pulling up a couple of photos off Google images. “Come on,” she said, tugging gently on Carmilla’s elbow until the girl settled back against her. “So, _this_ is Charmander… Cute, right? I always picked it as my starter, which my friends teased me for.”

“Why?” Carmilla sounded vaguely indifferent, but the nervous edge to her voice was now gone.

“Mm… A few reasons,” Laura said. “The first gym leader uses rock-type Pokémon, so it’s actually much easier to get by with either a grass or water starter.”

“Right…”

“And Charmander’s also one of the ones that evolve later.”

Carmilla hummed. “So, you intentionally made it harder for yourself.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Laura admitted, giggling, “but what’s the fun in playing it safe, right? I mean… as difficult as it is at first, the harder choice always ends up being more rewarding in the end, dontcha think?”

They exchanged a look—Laura grinning, Carmilla somewhat amused.

“Plus, it’s the cutest,” Laura added.

Carmilla rolled her eyes a little. “All right, so that’s what I used to be…?”

“Yup!”

“Then, what am I now?”

Laura tapped to the next picture, holding it up for Carmilla’s approval.

“Pretty badass looking, huh?”

Carmilla snorted. “I’m starting to think that maybe I didn’t miss out on too much after all…”

Scoffing, Laura bumped her shoulder against Carmilla’s. “Well, so- _rry_ for not being super awesome at assigning people edible nicknames!”

“You should be,” Carmilla said with a smirk.

“Oh yeah?”

But before Laura could further their banter, her phone went off with a _Bzzt! Bzzt!_ and they both saw Lexa’s name flash across the screen.

Laura hastily read through the message as Carmilla dropped her gaze. “I guess her practice just ended…”

“You mean _their_ practice,” Carmilla said flatly, checking her own phone. “Anyway, it’s getting late, cupcake. I should head out.”

Laura tossed her phone back onto the dresser before plucking Carmilla's phone out of her hands as well.

“Um, excuse me—”

Laura cut her off by yanking her into a kiss, hands cupped around her neck, and Carmilla gave in right away with a sigh. 

Leading a trail of kisses down Carmilla’s neck, Laura murmured into her skin, “Stay over?”

“I don’t think I should.”

“I think you should.”

“Laura…” Carmilla quickly trailed off as Laura started kissing her way down her chest. She threw back her head, a slow exhale eventually tapering off into a moan when Laura’s tongue slid against her clit. “Fuck.”

Laura didn’t slow her pace, not even when Carmilla’s fingers tangled painfully in her honey-blonde hair, because she sure as hell wasn't going to sleep alone tonight.

 

* * *

 

It was way past Laura’s bedtime when her girlfriend arrived.

“Hey, babe,” she said. She set her laptop to the side, legs folding underneath her. “Welcome back!”

Lexa placed her bags neatly in the corner before joining Laura on the couch, her smile tired but genuine. “Laura… You didn’t have to wait up for me.”

“But I wanted to.” Laura leaned in for a chaste kiss. “And congrats in person, by the way! Second place, huh?” She peeked past Lexa’s shoulder. “So, where’s the trophy? I kinda wanna see it because Octavia’s Instagram made it look huge.”

Lexa laughed softly. “It’s, uh, it’s at the gym. Anya will probably put it in the display case in the morning.”

“Oh, right. That makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

Laura stifled a yawn into her hands. “Time for bed?” She tugged on her girlfriend’s sleeve, but Lexa didn’t budge. “Babe?”

“... I love you.”

Laura looked up with a start, but Lexa’s gaze was fixed on her own hands folded carefully in her lap. “I love you too, babe…” She had to wait a little, but when her girlfriend finally looked up, her green eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “Lexa…?”

Lexa leaned in close, her lips pressing insistently against Laura’s, hands roaming her body. She pushed Laura onto her back and tugged at her pajama pants.

“Aren’t you… Aren’t you tired?” Laura gasped out in between kisses.

Lexa planted kisses down Laura’s neck. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Laura raised her hips, helping Lexa slide her underwear down past her knees.

“You’re already so wet,” Lexa murmured, running her hands up Laura’s legs. “What were you thinking about…?”

Laura sucked in a breath, eyes closing as she felt the kisses venture lower and lower. “You. Only you…”

She bit down on her lip to keep from saying the wrong name.

//

Laura swore under her breath as Lafontaine racked up yet another win. “You’re too good at this,” she complained bitterly.

“Eh, it’s just math,” Lafontaine said, shrugging. They promptly drew up a new Tic-Tac-Toe grid in their notebook. “So, what’d your dad say then?”

“Just what you’d expect…” Laura lowered her voice to an exaggerated gruff tone. “ _But,_ honey _, it’d look_ _so good on your resumé. And don’t you want to spend time with your old man over break? Because I missed you so much!”_

“Yikes.” Lafontaine winced. “Really laying it on thick with the guilt trip, huh?”

Laura took the notebook before Lafontaine could make the first move. “ _Yup_.”

“Well, isn’t that what you want to do with your life career-wise? An internship doesn’t sound like a bad way to spend the summer.”

“Yeah, but an _entire_ summer back in Toronto? No thanks,” Laura said, shaking her head. “Not to mention, ‘Smokebomb Entertainment’ doesn’t really make for the real, hard-hitting kind of journalism I’m interested in.” She scrawled an _X_ in the middle square and passed the grid back. “Hey, you ever notice how these look like giant hashtags…?”

“… _No_ ,” Lafontaine replied in a disgusted tone.

Laura's giggles were immediately cut off by Raven's irritated shushing. “Seriously?” Laura demanded, raising a hand in disbelief.

Ever since they turned in their final projects, anthropology class had basically become a glorified study hall for the rest of the semester. The review sessions for the final exam were so boring that even Dr. Roth seemed uninterested. Even Laura herself didn’t feel bad about goofing off anymore.

So, why was Raven making such a big deal out of the class now?

Lafontaine just shook their head. “Well, you could always come to Germany with me and Perr,” they suggested.

“Right…” Laura said sarcastically. “Aside from the fact that I’d be third wheeling it at a country where I don’t even speak the language…”

“Right,” Lafontaine echoed, chuckling.

“… my dad would absolutely _never_ let me go, are you joking?” Laura tapped impatiently on the notebook, prompting her friend to scribble an _O_ randomly on the page.

“Bring Lexa then. He likes her, right? He’d trust her to keep you safe and sound and whatnot.”

Laura hummed to herself, peering over the game carefully before making her next move. “That’s not a bad idea actually… but unfortunately, Lexa’s staying at Silas over break this year for super important lacrosse stuff.”

“Bummer,” Lafontaine sighed. They passed the grid back over to Laura one last time. “Oh, are you going to that party at the Sum Sosh house this weekend?”

“I’m only dating the star player of the lacrosse team, Laf. Of course, I’m going.” Then Laura swore again because she found herself trapped between two three-in-a-rows. “All right, we’re playing something else now!”

But before Lafontaine could protest, Raven rounded on them once more. “Class is almost over!” she hissed. “Can’t you fuckers just hold it together for ten more minutes?”

Laura raised her eyebrows at Lafontaine before turning back to Raven, “Uh… so what’s with the sudden 360, Rae?”

“360 degrees would indicate that I’m right back where I started,” Raven answered automatically, facing the board again.

“And now, you’re an avid supporter of the social sciences all of a sudden?”

Raven just waved away Laura’s incredulous tone with an impatient hand. Rolling their eyes, Lafontaine leaned over to draw another grid and whisper into Laura’s ear.

“Didja know Anya majored in sociology?”

//

The bass was deafening, but the generic hip-hop did nothing to drown out Octavia’s repetitive, drunken cries of _Second place, bitches!,_ which Laura just wasn’t drunk enough to truly appreciate.

She drummed her fingers against her knee, nodded to the music, and sipped periodically at her drink like she was supposed to.

But still, something felt off.

“Are you okay?”

Laura blinked to reorient herself among her friends and flashed her girlfriend a reassuring smile. “Yup, just kinda tired.”

With a small nod, Lexa squeezed Laura’s hand and turned back to the conversation. Laura tuned in for as long as possible, but her attention eventually wandered off once more, her eyes moving from scene to scene throughout the party.

Lafontaine was watching Perry with awestruck eyes as she explained her senior thesis, Danny and Kirsch were positively demolishing Octavia and Lincoln in beer pong, and Clarke… was just walking into the room with Carmilla in tow.

Immediately, Laura snapped back to the group before she could make eye contact with anyone in particular.

“… but I mean, it’s just basic translation theory,” Perry was saying, her cheeks a little pink from the wine, “so it’s nothing too, too impressive. Not like _Lafontaine’s_ work.” She touched her partner’s knee. “They’re contributing to the collective scientific field of knowledge, after all…”

“Nonsense!” Lafontaine sputtered. “Your work is crazy important too!”

The couple then began hushing each other, trying to pass off the other’s work as _more_ important until a loud cry interrupted the affectionate display.

“Woods!" A Grounder was shouting from across the room. “Come on! The team’s taking group shots in the kitchen. Pictures and otherwise. Let’s go!”

“All right,” Lexa sighed, patting at Laura’s leg. “Be right back, everyone.”

“Yeah, good luck with that," Lafontaine said with a snort.

Laura watched her girlfriend leave for a while before sparing a glance that she didn’t realize she was going to indulge until it was too late.

And both Clarke and Carmilla noticed because their gazes were already fixed on her.

Wonderful.

Laura quickly jogged after her girlfriend, stopping her with a tap on the shoulder. "Hey,"  she said with a sigh. “I’m going to… head out, I think.”

“Let me get my jacket. I’ll walk you home.”

Laura shook her head, taking Lexa’s hands in hers. “No, no… This is your night. You should be here. Celebratin’ with the gang.” She squeezed her girlfriend’s hands. “Enjoy yourself, okay?”

Lexa nodded. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Of course, babe.”

After one last smile, Laura made a beeline for the exit, handing off her drink to a random Zeta brother. She had barely made it past one block when she heard someone call out her name.

Laura stopped in her tracks, body seizing up as it registered the voice a split second before her brain did. The footfalls behind her hesitated as well. After a few calculated breaths, she resumed walking without even a glance back.

“… _Laura_.”

“Go _away_ , Carmilla,” Laura said in a heavy sigh.

There was another pause in the footsteps. Then… “ _Fuck you_ , Laura.”

A sudden white-hot anger—unexpected and dangerous—flared up in Laura. “ _What did you say_?” she demanded as she whirled around.

“Fuck. You.” Carmilla spat the words out, her hands fisted at her sides. “ _You_ should be the one chasing after _me_ right now, okay? Because _you_ broke my fucking heart!”

“Fuck—?” Laura stomped up to Carmilla in a frenzy. “Fuck _you,_ Carmilla!” She shoved at the girl, sporadically losing control over her volume and intensity as she went on. “ _You’re_ the one who started this whole _fucking_ mess in the first place!”

“Laura—”

She shoved Carmilla even harder. “Kissing me!” Another shove. “And _fucking_ me!” An even harder shove. “Saying that it all meant _nothing_ anyway. Then, you go and pull _that_?” 

“Laura, just—”

“ _You said we couldn’t have feelings!_ So, how _dare_ you—”

“ _Laura._ ” Carmilla grabbed both of her wrists mid-shove. “I _love_ you, Laura.”

Laura’s arms instantly fell limp in Carmilla’s grasp. “… Carm.”

“I do, Laura… I didn’t _want_ to, okay? But I _do,_ ” Carmilla said, forcing the words out. “And… And I really, _really_ tried so fucking hard not to.” Her voice started to break. “But I love you… I love you so fucking much, Laura.”

“... What do you want me to do, Carmilla?” Laura asked in a whisper. “Lexa doesn’t deserve this! And she loves me.” She hung her head with a shuddering breath. “ _God_ , she _loves_ me…” She tried to pull away, but Carmilla’s grip was unyielding.

“Do you love her?”

Everything in Laura’s chest felt heavy. “If I say ‘yes,’ will you let me go?”

“Yes.”

“Then… yes.” Laura tried to back away again, but Carmilla just moved with her, leaning in close.

The kiss was soft yet eager, and it was so easy for Laura to get lost in the warm familiarity of Carmilla. The feel of her lips. Her tongue. Her fingers when they traced delicate lines down the sides of Laura’s face.

They broke off the kiss breathless, their foreheads pressed insistently against each other.

Laura’s cheeks were wet, tears having shed without her consent. 

But Carmilla’s cheeks were wet too.

“Do you love me?”

Carmilla spoke under her breath, but the words found their way into Laura’s chest, burrowing painfully and leaving holes in their wake.

And all sorts of responses flitted through Laura’s head:

 

_Yes._

_No._

_You kiss me and it cracks me open._

_I can’t._

_Please don’t make me say it._

_No. No, no, no…_

 

But in the end, all she managed to say was, 

“I’m sorry.”

//

The very next day, Laura called up Smokebomb to let them know that she'd be accepting the internship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left in Laura's POV. 
> 
> Please comment below with your complaints (:
> 
> P.S., Did you know how hard it was to find a place where Pokémon had appeared **after** the 90s? It was pretty much Russia or Italy, lol. 
> 
> P.P.S., I'll be doing some heavy proofreading / editing for the entire fic before publishing the next chapter, but hope to see you lovelies real soon ❤︎


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am exhausted. 
> 
> Please enjoy :D

When Smokebomb asked if Laura could start mid-May, she agreed without any hesitation. It meant taking a flight that left only five short hours after her last exam and turning in her Ethics’ final project via e-mail from Toronto, but Laura jumped at the opportunity to leave Silas as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, it also meant that she had to miss graduation. But as much as she cared about all the seniors—Lafontaine, Raven, Perry… everyone—Laura needed to get out of there. 

For strictly professional reasons, of course.

The only one who gave her a hard time about it was Raven, saying she’d never forgive nor speak to Laura ever again. That of course lasted all of ten hours, and Laura’s phone was being flooded once more with inappropriate comments and observations the very next day.

Back at Toronto, Laura kept to a very simple schedule. 

Her alarm went off at 8:15am every week day, putting her at the office by 9am. Most days, Laura felt like a glorified secretary—answering phones, taking notes at meetings, going on coffee runs every other day, etc. They occasionally assigned her actual work and she got to clock in some real experience out in the field or doing research. But Laura’s favorite responsibility by far was Tweeting for the writer she was shadowing. 

Who knew that her extensive knowledge of social media and memes would come in handy one day? In a professional setting, no less! 

That all went on until 5:30pm—or whenever Laura was dismissed for the day—then she caught the bus home, where she putzed around online until her dad called her down for dinner.

Meanwhile, the weekends were a series of coffee dates, lunches, and movies with a revolving door of old high school friends. They were great for killing time, reliving nostalgia, and ultimately confirming her love for her Silas friends.

Though she didn’t really keep in touch with them.

Mostly, Laura kept track of everyone via various forms of social media:

Lafontaine posted the typical tourist-y photos from Germany and candids of their unsuspecting girlfriend, sleeping and otherwise. Raven’s snapchats were all captioned _I probs shouldn’t send this lol_ and mostly featured blurry KMT computer screens and half-finished algorithms. And Octavia would instagram the occasional sunrise, as proof of her early morning hikes, and cutesy date nights with Lincoln on the weekends. 

Clarke, on the other hand, didn’t post very often, but when she did, her pictures were always #aesthetics. They depicted wild flowers in the woods, her morning coffee, drawings she was working on… Sometimes, she shared photos of Carmilla, which always struck Laura with a heavy, heavy guilt. Other times, Clarke shared photos of Lexa, which inspired a different kind of guilt that was somehow just as heavy. 

Either way, it never failed to launch Laura into another spurt of frenzied productivity that kept her occupied until the next pang of shame. 

Lexa was also not as readily accessible as everyone else.  As brilliant as she was at most things, she still struggled with everything related to the internet, so it was hard for them to stay in contact. They still talked—of course, they did—via texts and phone calls, but even that was nowhere near as often as their time apart during the NCAAs. But Lexa was busy. 

And so was Laura.

“Hey, Laura-nator!” 

“Spencer!” Laura swung her chair around to greet the other intern. “All right. So, whatcha got for me today?”

“Mint chocolate chip mocha!” he chirped, holding out the drink. Then, he went off, distributing the rest of the coffees door to door, meeting each person with his unrelenting smile. 

Despite Laura’s resolute insistence on hot chocolate, Spencer claimed he could find another drink she would love. Thus, every time it was his turn to get the coffee, he brought Laura a brand-new drink to try. So far, they had yet to strike gold.

Laura took a hesitant sip of her drink and grimaced.

“No go?” 

She shook her head, holding the cup out towards Spencer. “And I think you’re getting further from the mark…”

“Dang it!” Spencer swapped the rejected drink with the simple hot chocolate he always ordered for himself just in case. “I’ll crack you one day, Laura Hollis.”

Laura laughed. “I’m a simple gal! I know what I like.” She hummed gratefully at the familiar warm chocolatey goodness. “But aren’t you tired of ending up with my ex-drinks?”

Spencer just shrugged, taking a large gulp from his new cup. “Nah… I like everything.” 

( _Kirsch,_ Laura thought. _Kirsch, but a foot shorter and curly hair._ )

“Quiet today,” Spencer observed, dropping into a chair across from Laura. 

“Yeah… I think most of the people are out covering that Webicon thing. Paige…” Laura gestured at a closed door, behind which her boss was in full-out editing mode, “has a deadline, so I’m stuck here for now.” 

“Nice.” Spencer glanced around the room. “Well, I’m not sure where Matt went… so… I’ll just stay put.” He pulled out his phone with a grin. 

Rolling her eyes, Laura turned back to her computer screen. She read through the e-mail draft one last time before sending it off into cyberspace.

Which was the last thing left on her agenda for today. 

Okay. Now what?

“You play Pokémon Go?”

Laura groaned. “ _No…_ But I really, really want to! I’ve just been so busy lately.”

“Well, it’s not busy right now.” Spencer shot Laura a wink. “And there’s a couple of Clefables nearby…”

Biting her lip, Laura looked around the room. It _really_ was empty besides the two of them. “… _Fine!”_ After one last glance to confirm that everyone was still locked away in their respective offices, she began downloading the app. 

It was about halfway installed when the door to Paige’s office swung open. With a small squeak, Laura scrambled to pocket her phone. Thankfully, Paige’s gaze was still directed down at the papers she was sifting through.

“Laura?” 

“Yuh-huh?” Laura straightened up as quickly and innocently as possible. Spencer was hyper-focused on his coffee cup, his phone smoothly disappeared and out of sight.

“Could you go through these for me?” Paige held out the papers, which Laura rushed to receive. “Then, call Jan back to verify the numbers. Something’s not quite adding up…”

“Yeah! No problem!”

Once Paige was safely back in her office, Laura exhaled a sigh of relief while Spencer fell into peals of giggles.

“I hate you,” Laura muttered. 

Spencer hid behind his coffee cup, his lopsided grin shining through. “Whatever you say, chica.”

(Okay, maybe more Raven than Kirsch after all.)

// 

It wasn’t until after dinner, upon seeing a series of snaps from Raven proclaiming _TEAM MYSTIC,_ that Laura thought about the game again. 

After a long day of jumping through bureaucratic hoops, Laura was reluctant to participate in anything requiring physical activity—especially outdoors. But eventually, her desire to understand the related memes won out, so Laura tapped on the Pokéball icon. 

She breezed through the initial steps, barely reading through whatever she was agreeing to and haphazardly constructing her avatar, before she was faced with a decision she really should have been expecting. Choosing a starter: Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and... Charmander.

_Hah._

A heavy sigh broke out of Laura as she flopped onto her bed.

Stupid, stupid game. 

And… here came that train of thought that she had been attempting to leave behind all summer.

By no means did it work all the time. Oh no. The thoughts always came back in those brief moments of idleness. Right before she fell asleep. Waiting at the bus stop for her morning commute. The commercial breaks during the sitcoms she watched with her dad. Stepping into the goddamn shower even.

She was nowhere near the two people who kept breaking their way into her thoughts, but they still managed to disrupt her purposefully mundane routine. And unlike at school, Laura didn’t have any physical contact with either party swaying her one way or the other. 

But that was the point, right?

//

Laura reluctantly turned over, her bleary eyes working to decipher the blurry green figures. Then, the sound rushed in and Laura was beaten about the head by a series of loud, intrusive beeps. 

Her alarm. 

She squinted and the green blurs came into focus: 8:42am. 

“Fu—” Laura rolled out of bed in a tangle of limbs and sheets. Slamming a fist down on her alarm clock's Off button, she quickly assessed the situation. 

Her hair was a mess and she was still wearing her clothes from the day before. And she was so fucking late.

No time to shower, no time to pack lunch, and definitely no time to pick up the coffee.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Laura ran into the bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush with one hand and texting with the other. 

 

**Laura [8:45am]  
** Hey! Can you do me a big favor? I’m running late and will NOT be able to grab the drinks today. Could you please cover for me? 

**Laura [8:45am]  
** I’ll do it the next 2 days, I swear!!

**Smokebomb Spencer [8:47am]  
** No prob, heartthrob! 

**Smokebomb Spencer [8:47am]  
** I even know the perfect drink to get you today!

 

Rolling her eyes, Laura sent back a quick _Thanks!_ and a smiley before tossing her phone and other necessities into her shoulder bag. She ran out the door, still swearing heavily under her breath. 

//

Spencer waved at Laura with a huge grin when she stumbled into the building almost ten minutes late. 

“Good morning, Hollister!”

“Hi,” Laura grumbled, fidgeting with her shirt which she only now realized was buttoned wrong. “Please tell me I didn’t miss anything important.”

Spencer scooted his chair closer. “Relax! Paige isn't even here yet.”

Laura’s shoulders instantly dropped in relief. “Thank God,” she sighed. 

“So, what’s with lateness? An overnight guest perhaps?” Spencer waggled his eyebrows.

“What? _No._ I have a girlfriend, remember?” Laura moved onto fixing her hair, focused intensely on her compact mirror. 

Spencer snapped his fingers. “Oh, right! Alex!” 

“ _Lexa.”_

“Right! Lexa… I keep forgetting. You never really talk about her.”

Laura’s hands briefly faltered mid-ponytail. “We’re not really here to gossip,” she said slowly.

“No, you’re right!” Spencer said in an easy tone, spinning around in his chair. 

“Anyway…” Laura hastily changed the subject, “about that drink of mine.”

Spencer jumped to his feet and handed over the warm cup. He looked excited.

“What is it?”

“Hot chocolate!” 

Laura sighed. “Finally…” She took a sip, then immediately dropped her jaw, letting the drink fall out of her mouth. “… What was that?”

“Hot chocolate…”

“No, it wasn’t! It was _white_!” 

“Yeah… It was white hot chocolate.”

Laura shook her head, smiling despite herself. “You’re such a little stinker, Spence. I can’t believe you tried to trick me!”

Spencer chuckled. “It’s not a trick. It really was hot chocolate! Just not the kind you were expecting.”

“Unbelievable.” 

“Come on,” he urged, his smile wide and encouraging. “Give it a chance.”

With one last amused eye roll, Laura took another small sip.

“Well?” Spencer’s eyes were round and eager. 

“Well… it’s not bad,” Laura finally admitted. She rolled her eyes and bumped Spencer’s outstretched fist. “All right, fine, ya got me. But I still don’t appreciate you trying to trick me.”

“I wasn’t trying to trick you!” Spencer insisted. “I just wanted you to try something new!” He gestured wildly at Laura’s cup. “And the only reason you didn’t like it at first was ‘cause you were expecting something else. But when you actually tried it for what it was… you loved it!” Laura raised an eyebrow, and Spencer quickly corrected himself, “Okay, you just _liked_ it. Whatever, but the point still stands. You never know what you’re missing out on if you just keep to what you know, you know?”

Laura hummed, unconvinced. “That’s a pretty tacky metaphor, dontcha think?”

“Doesn’t make it any less true!”

“I guess…”

“You know I’m right!” Spencer said, before pointing at the remaining cup in the tray. “But if you really don’t want it, there’s still your usual drink waiting for you.”

Laura glanced at the untouched drink. “… Nah, it’s all right. I think I’ll keep this.”

A shit-eating grin broke over Spencer’s face.

“Shut up,” Laura said, nudging his chair away from her. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Spencer exclaimed, but he was wildly punching at the air.

Laura laughed, mostly to herself, before adding, “You know… You remind me a lot of my friend back at school.”

Back to spinning around gleefully in his chair, Spencer quipped, “Sounds like one cool dude.”

“Yeah, they really are.”

// 

**Laura Hollis:** Are you up?

**S. Lafontaine:** yeaaaahhhhhh, it’s only midnight here. what’s up??

**Laura Hollis:** There’s something I want to talk to you about. Are you busy right now? 

**S. Lafontaine:** nahhh not really

**Laura Hollis:** Can I call you then?

**S. Lafontaine:** sure!

 

“Laf?” 

“Hey!” 

Lafontaine’s voice sounded a little faint and crackly, but thankfully it was clear enough to make out. Laura hadn’t been sure what to expect from Facebook messenger’s call feature, but she was now satisfied enough to leave a positive review. Maybe. Well, if it wasn’t out of her way.

“Hang on, let me go out into the hallway. Don’t wanna wake Perry up.”

“You said you weren’t busy!”

Lafontaine huffed. “And I’m not! I was just working on some stuff on my computer while Perry was asleep. Nothing dire. So, what’s up?”

The moment of truth.

Laura took a deep breath, her hands shaking only slightly.

“Uh, frosh? You—”

“You asked me something a while ago!” Laura blurted out. She paused, but Lafontaine was waiting in an expectant silence. “And… I think I’m ready to answer now.”

“Okay…” 

They sounded confused, but that was fine. Laura was kinda confused too. 

“I know… I know that she’s a really difficult person to be around,” Laura started hesitantly. “She’s rude. And snarky. And antisocial. And, _God,_ just so obnoxious and vulgar…” She scoffed to herself, shaking her head, a hand fisting in her own hair. “And I _know_ she’s pretentious and really snobby about _so_ many things, but the thing is… she actually is as brilliant as she acts and says she is!” 

Laura paced around the room, thoughts falling out of her almost faster than she could voice them. “She doesn’t know how to handle emotions a lot of the time. Maybe all of the time. She’s sad a lot. And she just kinda lets it ravage her body and she tries to hide it behind sarcasm, but it all just spills out anyway. If you just look for it. Because, Laf, God… she feels so much and so intensely, so of _course_ she can’t handle it! And I know that sounds bad or whatever, but it also means that she loves... with absolutely every fiber of her being.”

Coming to a stop in the middle of her room. “So, when she loves you, it’s impossible not to see it. Because her love is just like everything else about her: intense and fiery, like you might expect from someone like her. But also, sweet and pure and absolutely delicate and beautiful… like the little smiles she saves only for you…”

“… Okay,” Lafontaine repeated when Laura stopped to take a few heaving breaths. 

“Laf?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in love with Carmilla.”

Deafening silence from the other end. Laura’s stomach steadily sank lower with each passing second.

“Laf, please say something,” she pleaded after a while. 

A few more moments passed before a reply came. “Do you…” Lafontaine coughed, clearing their throat. “Do you have _any_ idea just how much money I owe Perry right now?” 

An unexpected laughter bubbled up Laura’s throat and she finally felt like everything was going to be okay.

//

Laura had to break up with Lexa.

She and Lafontaine had discussed the matter for almost four hours straight and that was the one solid conclusion they both agreed on. Of course, Laura had kept some of the details to herself, sparing Laf the full extent of her indecency, but she knew they were right.

She had to break up with Lexa.

And, no, it wasn’t like anything would come out of it on the Carmilla side of things. She had already graduated and most likely wouldn’t be sticking around Silas for much longer. 

Also, Clarke. 

So, _no._

Hollstein—as Lafontaine so aptly put it—would not be happening. But Laura couldn’t stay with Lexa with a clear conscience either.

She loved Lexa. She really did. Laura knew that at least that much was true, but her feelings for Carmilla were just too strong for her to ignore. 

And perhaps, Carmilla actually occupied even more of Laura’s heart than Lexa did.

Either way, it wasn’t fair to Lexa. 

Lexa deserved better. 

She deserved to be with someone who could love her wholeheartedly in the way Laura had thought at one point that she could (And how she might have eventually loved Carmilla if given the chance… but that was neither here or there). 

And so, as soon as Laura’s plane landed in the States, she texted Lexa. 

 

**Laura [2:52pm]  
** Hey, Lexa. I’m getting on the shuttle soon. Be in Silas in about 20 minutes or so. Are you busy?

**Lexa [2:55pm]  
** You will? Why didn’t you call? I would have picked you up.

**Laura [2:58pm]  
** Nah, I didn’t want to bother you or anything. 

**Lexa [3:02pm]  
** It wouldn’t have been a bother at all, Laura. 

**Laura [3:05pm]  
** It’s really okay, lol. Can we talk soon? As soon as possible?

**Lexa [3:11pm]  
** Yes. Okay, that’s a good idea.

**Laura [3:12pm]  
** How does 5 @ the cybercafé sound?

**Lexa [3:17pm]  
** Yes, that will work. I shall see you then.

**Laura [3:18pm]  
** kk! 

// 

The sheen of sweat covering Laura’s palms had nothing to do with the notorious Silas summer. Nope, that was all Laura and that godawful anxiety gnawing at her stomach from the inside out. 

But that was nothing compared to the stuttering her heart experienced when she saw who was waiting at their usual table by the quad.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

Carmilla looked up from her nails, startled and instantly sarcastic. “Well, nice to see you too, creampuff…” 

“No, _seriously,_ what are you doing here?” Laura demanded. Her hands and her voice were trembling, and she didn’t quite know what to do with the sudden flood of emotions overwhelming her system, but frustration was the most comfortable fit.

“I _live_ here,” Carmilla said dryly, her scowl deepening.

Laura threw up her hands. “But you graduated! Who hangs out around campus after they _graduate?_ Shouldn’t you be out in the real world being a real adult, doing whatever real Philosophy majors get up to once they graduate?” 

“Okay, not that it’s any of your business, but for your infor—”

“Whoa, whoa, _whoa!”_

Clarke quickly jumped in between the two, her hands held up high. Apparently, she and Lexa had managed to sneak up on the pair in the midst of all their yelling. Laura narrowed her eyes, flicking her gaze from one girl to the next. Clarke smiled, Lexa gave a small wave, and Carmilla looked just as confused as Laura felt.

“… What’s going on?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I want to know too,” Carmilla said, focusing her trademarked glare at Clarke. “Because when you asked me to meet you here, you did _not_ tell me that we’d be joined by the world’s most annoying couple.”

Laura rounded on Carmilla. “Okay, you know what?” But Lexa easily whisked her off her feet before she could get very far.

“This is not the time for that, Laura,” she said quietly, setting Laura back down on the ground.

“Okay, but someone better start answering questions fast. Or I’m walking.”

Carmilla scoffed. “Fuck that. I’m leaving now.” She got to her feet.

“ _Stay,_ ” Clarke ordered, finger leveled at her girlfriend who turned back around reluctantly. “Now, sit down. Both of you.” She nodded at Laura too. 

Laura and Carmilla glared at each other a while longer before slowly taking their seats across from each other. They were quickly joined by their respective girlfriends in their usual spots. 

“So, what’s going on?” Laura asked again. 

Clarke was still smiling. “We just wanted to talk about something… that we probably should have discussed a long, long time ago…”

Eyes widening, Laura and Carmilla exchanged a quick glance before stammering out their words simultaneously. 

“God, I swear I was going to say—”

“Look, Clarke, this isn’t how—”

Lexa placed a gentle hand on Laura’s arm. “Uh, how about _we_ start?” 

Laura jerked her head in some semblance of a nod and Carmilla just fell silent, cheeks even paler than usual.

“So….” Clarke’s smile finally faltered a bit. She laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of her neck. “So, something happened…” Laura and Carmilla held their breath as one. “Er… between _us_.” 

“Huh?”

“What?”

They looked at Clarke with identical dumbfounded expressions because she was motioning her hand between herself and Lexa, who was now avoiding everyone’s eyes.

“You’re _joking,_ ” Laura said, but even as the words came out of her mouth she knew they weren’t because Lexa’s ears had gone very pink. “I don’t… What?”

“We didn’t mean for this to happen, Laura,” Lexa said hastily. 

“Well…” Clarke shot Lexa a look. “We didn’t _plan_ for this to happen, but, um… yeah, we kinda _did_ mean for this to happen…”

Lexa nodded, smiling back at Clarke. “Yes, that is true. What I meant to say was that... we didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Right!” Clarke said, jumping onto Lexa’s words. “We didn’t want to hurt you. Either of you,” she added, facing Carmilla too. 

Laura wasn’t sure if her mouth was supposed to be opened or closed, so she was alternating between the two, but neither felt natural. She flicked her eyes towards Carmilla for some sort of social cue, but that was no help. 

Carmilla appeared somewhat taken aback, but not entirely surprised. But that could also be Laura’s brain. At the moment, it was working both overtime and not at all, and thus everything was still hazy and muddled.

“I… I’m sorry,” she said slowly, making sure each word was actually a word. In English. “I guess I’m having trouble understanding? So… what’s going on here?” 

Clarke reached over, taking Laura’s hands in hers. “Laura, you know I love you, right? We haven’t really been meshing that well lately, but you’re still my best friend. The one who saved my butt all those times that mattered.” She squeezed her hands. “And I really, _really_ tried hard not to, but I feel things for Lexa I can’t ignore anymore.” 

Then, she turned to—her girlfriend? not-girlfriend? ex-girlfriend?—Carmilla and said, “And you and I knew this was going to happen.” She chuckled, blowing blonde hair out of her face. “I mean, we didn’t know all the specifics or anything, but… we were coming to this.” 

Carmilla just nodded and, if Laura wasn’t mistaken, her lips were twitching into a start of a small smile.

“What about you?” Laura turned to her whatever-it-was-now expectantly. “Do you feel the same way?” 

Lexa took a deep breath, probably not noticing how much she was wringing her hands. “I care about you, Laura. I really do… But Clarke.” The two girls matched eyes with knowing smiles. “There’s something I feel the need to explore.”

The four girls sat in silence for a bit—Clarke and Lexa shifting nervously, Laura and Carmilla still as ever. 

“Okay!” Clarke broke the silence, clapping her hands together. “So, you two probably have a lot to process at the moment. Or people to shit-talk about, so we’re going to… go?” She got to her feet, pausing to press a kiss to Carmilla’s cheek. “Bye, gorgeous.”

“Later, princess,” Carmilla returned effortlessly.

Clarke looked back at Laura. “And if you need space, I completely understand, Laura. You can take all the space and time you need… And if you want to beat my face in and never talk to me again, I’d understand that too. Just give a gal a fair warning beforehand, huh?” She leaned in to kiss Laura’s cheek as well before scurrying off.

“… I’m sorry, Laura,” Lexa said quietly. She squeezed her shoulder with a gentle hand. “If there’s anything you need, please do not hesitate to ask.” Then, she was off too.

Laura watched as she jogged towards Clarke, who was waiting with a radiant smile and an outstretched hand, which Lexa easily caught, intertwining their fingers together. 

Then, Laura blinked and they were gone. 

“… What just happened?”

“Well, cutie,” Carmilla said with a sigh, “it would appear that both of our girlfriends just dumped us so that they could start dating each other.”

“Yeah… I got that part,” Laura said. “… But what just happened?”

Carmilla exhaled a short laugh as she leaned back into her chair, a small smirk lighting up her features, and for the first time in a long time, she looked like herself again. The Carmilla that had caught Laura’s attention in the first place. 

“So, cupcake… I hope I’m not being too forward, but I just got _royally_ dumped and I’m feeling kinda vulnerable right now and I might be in need of a good rebound.” Carmilla raised her eyebrows. “Know anyone available…?”

Laura just gaped at her in stunned silence and disbelief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **And thus spoke Laura Hollis.**
> 
> So, that's how this particular story ends, which means I've just completed my very first fic! Yay :D I'd like to just thank all of you for giving this a chance!
> 
> For those of you disappointed at the lack / loss of Hollstein, I have good news and bad news:
> 
> > Good news is that Carmilla's POV will fill out the beginning, middle, and end of their storyline. (That's not how they get together obviously! They still need to evolve into an actual relationship, you know? ;D).
> 
> > Bad news is that the next fic is in Clarke's POV... Carmilla's will be the _following one_ ):
> 
> > More good news (because why not?) is that the next fic has already started! 
> 
> Once again, thank you for coming along for the ride. I hope to see you on the [next one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7730005/chapters/17619070%22).


End file.
